Let's put the past where it belongs, in the past and stop with the sufferings. Welcome the new beginnings.
She was not sure about its purpose. There was nothing additional information provided like which company it was advertising for or was it a part of an upcoming campaign? Nothing of that sort, it was just plain writing that for her became something else. It gave her hope. She believed in destiny and took it as a sign that what she was doing was right. She had avoided a direct confrontation with him call her a coward, if you may, for that. She did not want to talk to him at all. She could not bear with it.
What he had done was unforgivable and she knew that if she talked with him she would give in. He would ask for forgiveness. The sad part is she would forgive him. And that would be akin to insulting herself. It would be like giving him permission to walk all over her self-respect. He would trample over her emotions again and again then say sorry and would expect that things will go back to normal. He would never realize his mistake that what he did was wrong.
It was wrong on so many levels.
Primary, what he did, it was deliberate. He had wanted to hurt her and he was successful in his feat. She hurt so bad that at one moment she felt like ending everything. But she is not weak. She is not the kind of person who gives up at the first fall. She would get up and then get on with life. The whole process might be long and arduous but she won't quit.
When you love a person and that person actually loves you back it feels like a dream. When you, for real get together with that person and live your dream it feels like a blessing. She had that.
But in a relationship, not everything is given on a silver platter. You have to work hard to keep the magic alive. You do it because it makes you happy. It is not a chore and should never be treated like one. The urge comes from within.
Trust is the basic thing that any relationship needs to work well.
He had broken her trust. How could she trust him, ever; after what he did to her?
In love, there is no place for retaliation for mistakes. In it, you don't keep scores. You don't plot or scheme against your partner, especially intentionally, to get even. This is not a battle in which your partner is standing on the opposite side. You don't fight each other to win.
You fight together, for one another.
You don't want to hurt your loved one just to make yourself feel better. It does not work like that. If you really love your companion, then you will end up feeling guiltier than before and lose that person forever. You will be left with nothing but the bitter memory of your own wrongdoings.
We are human and we make mistakes but then we apologize sincerely. The apology is not to make a point or just for the sake of it. We apologize because we know that what we did hurt our loved ones and will try to not repeat it in the future. This is what an apology means. When mistakes increase and apologies feel like a mere formality then it is the time to let go.
She should have seen the signs that were there, all the time, in front of her. What did she do? She made excuses on his behalf and kept holding onto it. If only, she had not done that and saw it for it was. Then they might have broken things off differently and it would not hurt this much.
What could be done now? Things already have ended this way, maybe it was meant to happen like that.
She realized that she should take this as an opportunity to go out and explore. Rediscover her, get to know herself all over again. She is a woman and strength comes, just for being one. So what if this relationship failed. The world has not ended. She has a job that she loves, friends who support her.
What more could she need?
Taking a deep breath and then releasing it slowly she felt a bit better. Not the kind of jumping with excitement but enough to get her out of this gloomy state, for now. She would take that and work with it.
Finally, she saw a driver holding a plaque of her name and went that way. After climbing in the car, she was once again lost in her thoughts. The driver had told her that it would take a while to reach the hotel. She was looking out the window but her eyes did not catch anything. She just looked at the passing scenery in a daze. Her thoughts were now focused on a different matter.
She has decided to put things in the past where it belongs, just like the sign read. It will be difficult. She vowed to not admit defeat.
But does she want to love again? Does she want to find a man for herself? What if someone comes knocking at her heart's door? Should she let him in or keep the door tightly shut and add on some bolts for extra safety measures?
Won't that make her a cranky, bitter old lady with loneliness as her sole companion? She does not want to be like that. She wants to grow old with her person. She wants to have a family of her own just like they were before her parent's car accident. They had an arranged marriage which turned into love.
She wanted that love.
This feeling has not diminished an inch. If possible it had grown. Maybe she had wanted this too much and this was the reason she ignored those small signs and mistakes. But now she has learned her lesson. She won't repeat the same mistake twice.
She would be patient and if love comes knocking at her door. She won't hesitate much and will open the door cautiously. She would take a second chance at love.
She liked that thought.
Unknowingly a small smile blossomed at her lips. Her whole demeanor changed. The dark aura that has attached itself to her was slowly fading away.
She was roused out of her musings as the driver told her that she has arrived. She took out the bag and made her way to the hotel entrance with those words ringing in her heart and soul.
A second chance at love, she would like that.