Lance.
Sex isn't as easy as everyone makes it out to be. In fact, now that I think about it is the most disgusting act ever but it can also be beautiful. Think about it, you both sweat all over each other, there are fluids mixing and blending together. If you visualize it, it could be gross.
But right now, in the heat of the moment, it is the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. I have never been intimate with anyone before, but at this moment, I feel one with him.
I open my eyes for the first time since we got on his bed. He is above me and there is a lust-filled expression in his eyes. Sweat drops onto my chest but I am not focused on that. After taking off our clothes, we got to the bed. I don't know what to do next, he seems to though.
"You are so beautiful," his breath is heavy.
I smile because I am so fucking nervous right now. I don't know what to say. I don't want to say the wrong thing right now; I want this to be perfect.
"Are you sure about this?" he is still watching me with a dazed expression. I nod hurriedly because that is the only thing, I can do to assure him that I want this as much as he does. He is being gentle with me; he is treating me like a girl. He grinds into me as seat drops to my chest. I am not grossed out; in fact, I am very excited.
You might think this is wrong, having sex on the first date. Fuck, is this even a date? I really don't know but I don't think this is a typical relationship. We met and there is a deep connection between us. I have never felt the way I do about him. This is special to me; it is not just sex.
"Is this your first time?" I release heavy breaths.
"With a guy?" he asks.
I nod.
"No." he answers and continues kissing me.
Jealousy seeps through because suddenly it is not the same with us. He has done this before. He is not a newbie like me. He stops kissing me as I stiffen against him. He can tell something is wrong. He pulls away from me to get a closer look at me "Are you okay?"
I sigh as him being apart from me makes me feel empty. I need his touch again; I want him close to me "I'm fine."
He smiles and brushes a strand of hair off my face "Something's wrong. Did I do anything to upset you?"
This man is the most thoughtful person I have ever met. He is worried about me; he isn't just thinking with his dick. The worries in me suddenly evaporate because I know this is not just a wham bam thank you mam situation. He genuinely likes me; he feels the same.
"I just thought you've never done this before too."
He nods "This is my first time sober." he explains immediately. I watch him as he shifts even further from me and sits up on the bed. He is wearing only boxers and I stare at his beauty lustfully.
I need more than just that from him.
"You said you weren't gay." I remind him.
He nods "To everyone, I have to be straight, I can't be this flawed person that I am with you right now."
Shit, he thinks he is flawed. What do I even say to that? This man is anything but flawed. He is fucking perfect and somehow the people in his life have made him so scared to be the person he really is.
"You are perfect."
He laughs and I watch him run his hands through his hair. He seems to do that a lot around me "Tell that to my father."
"Where is he? Let me slap some sense into his head."
He laughs even harder and I smile, joyful that he laughing because of me. My heart beats erratically in my chest as I watch the smile remain on his face. I don't get the full details of his gay drunken sex because he doesn't tell me anymore.
I don't want to pressure him to talk about it, but I do want to be close to him. I move until I am close to him and he watches me still smiling "This is my first time with anyone," I tell him honestly.
He remains still almost like he is waiting for me to make all the moves. He is unsure about all this and I know it has something to do with the fact that we were getting personal.
"But I want to do this with you. I have never been surer about anything in my life," this is my assurance to him. I am letting him know that I consent. I reach for his hands and grab them in mine, he is shaking nervous from my touch. I feel the same way but also courageous. "I am going to kiss you again and we can start again."
He nods as I press my lips against him in an all-encompassing kiss. The sweet taste that is him takes over as I delve deeper into the kiss. He moans into my mouth and that sound makes me go crazy. i push him against the bed and suddenly I am on top. I don't know how all this works because it is new territory but I have an inkling.
We kiss hungrily and I pull his boxers off hurriedly. He helps me with the rest of my clothes and the moment we are naked; skin to skin against each other. I get more excited. I feel him against meβhard and ready to take this further. I don't want to rush this; I want this moment to last forever. I want to remember this as long as my two lungs are still working.
I grab his member in my grip and he moans out and I stroke him slowly, watching the blissful expression on his face "Fuck." he whimpers against me "More," he pleads desperately for a release.
I smile proudly that I am getting this reaction from him. I feel his hand on my member and there is a gleam in his eyes. "I want to watch you quiver against me too"
His hand moves at the same pace as mine and my eyes roll to the back of my head from the immense pleasure I am feeling. We moan and move together, but too into our pleasure. We don't stop until we get the release we crave desperately at the same time. We splatter all over each other and he chuckles as I lie flat on my back next to him.
"Wow" he breathes out.
I look at him and he is smiling "That felt so good." I nod in agreement. "Hold on." he stands up from the bed and I watch him go into the bathroom. He comes out with a towel and a bowl with water. He climbs the bed and I watch him clean all the mess we made. He slides the towel on my body and the warmth from the water soothes me. "I'm gonna have to change my sheets" he points out.
I nod and he laughs.
I hear my stomach grumble and he hears it "you hungry?"
I shrug "I didn't know I was."
He laughs "We should have a shower together and then I will make you the only meal I know how to."
I sit up on the bed as he stands up with the bowl in his grip. "What's that?" I ask curious because I cannot cook to save my life. Every time I think I know this guy in front of me he finds a way to surprise me.
"You will have to see it. Don't worry you will help me in the kitchen." I follow him to his bathroom and the shower calls me. You have to understand that the bathroom in my house is small with a tiny showerhead. The one in this bathroom is grand.
Having a shower in here must feel like heaven.
We are still naked, so as he leads me, my heart beats heavily "Come on." he pulls me closer until we get into the shower. He turns the knob and the water comes out cold "Shit," I jolt away from it and he laughs at me.
"Not funny, I have cold water."
He is still under the water "This is a piece of cake. My coach has us sit in a tub of ice water ever week."
"coach?" I ask because he is giving me another piece of his life.
He nods "Basketball coach, come on. The waters hot now." he pulls me until I am close to him again. Our bodies are touching. He wraps his arms around my waist and I rest in the crook of his neck as water slides down our bodies "Why am I so crazy about you?" he breathes into my ear.
I look up at him because he is almost a foot taller than me. I don't have an answer to his question. I am crazy about him too. This feels too normal to even be scared to explore it.
He grabs the body wash from a rack and I watch as he lathers it against me. He helps me with my hair and I help him with his. Everything is perfect and as we get out of the shower; I think about how happy I am in this moment with this man.
Fuck, I have it bad and I don't even know his name.