As I woke up this morning I felt different, like myself but I still felt blank ....I still couldn't remember how I got to the road where I was knocked down but I remembered my name and that I came to city V for a job but I cannot remember anything after that ....and its frustrating!
I cannot even remember how I got pregnant..."_"
I have tried to remember and I end up with headaches and confusion...but I know that something bad happened to me because all those nightmares I have been having I think are an insight to my memories but the Dr.Robert said I shouldn't worry that the nightmares don't mean anything.
I don't even remember the nightmares in the morning...but I remember once someone talking to me gently, held me and told me every thing will be alright ...when I asked if anyone was with me that night everybody kept a straight face....
What they don't know is that I am a very intelligent person, I can read their body language, face and signs to each other.
I know they are hiding alot from me especially Mr Crown...I can see it in his eyes that he knows more.
I even suspect he was the one with me that night I had that terrible nightmare, because the voice sounded like the person that was taking to me when I was in coma.
I am grateful for his family that they took me in, his mother has been so loving and caring ...she reminds me of my mother....what has happened to my parents? since the accident 3 months ago I have not communicated with them and I know they will be so worried.
As for my beautiful baby Sunshine...she is the Sunshine in the mist of this darkness that I find myself...when I asked Mrs Crown who gave her that name she said it was her son ...I was surprised he always appears so cold and doesn't show any emotion....
But he doesn't know that I have seen him watching me in my room at night ....he thought I was asleep but I was not ..I saw him. I heard from the maids how he cares for Sunshine...and I am grateful but I worry when I have recovered fully what will happen to us? Where will we go?
As I was deep in my thoughts, there was a knock on the door and it opened, Mr.Crown entered fully dressed for the office ...I tried to pretend to be asleep but I was not fast enough...
Good morning Katie, I know you are awake do don't pretend...he pulling the covers from my head.
Good morning Mr.Crown...I said looking up at him. He looked very handsome in his 3 piece suit and expensive...
We stared ar each for sometime, then he looked away and said I am arranging for a psychiatrist to see you to analyze your state of mind.
But I am fine ...it ...
The nightmares are bad Katie he said interrupting me ...you need to see one.
Mr Crown...
Eric ...call me Eric he corrected
You have done so much for us ...and I don't know how to repay you ...I dont have any money...I cannot even remember..
Stop Katie...just stop there. Just take it as compensation for my driver knocking you down and as for Sunshine I was there when she was born so, I held her, I have feed her, changed her diaper...as far as I am concerned she is a member of my family.
My eyes were full of tears ...I was grateful to him. He stood close to me and I noticed he wanted to touch me but drew back ...and walked to door; rest...I will see you later and he left.
I felt drawn to him...I remembered the first time I realised he was the one talking to me while I was in coma...his voice was soothing and some times I wished I could asnwer him then ...I like him although I don't think I can trust my feelings right now but I always look forward to his nightly visits even when I pretend to be asleep.
My day was full of doctors and nurses coming in and out of my room, although not as much as before. I had my physiotherapy session ...then after that the psychiatrist came to see me , we had a very unsuccessful session because I was getting impatient and agitated again...so she left saying we will continue tomorrow.
After she left I asked for Sunshine to be brought to me, one of the nurses said she thinks I should rest that with my behaviour today she doesn't think it's safe for a baby...oh that's when I lost it.
She is my baby, how can you say I cannot see my baby ...
I think you should rest, the next thing one of them tried to inject me as I felt the needle ..I push her and the needle broke in my arms.
I removed all the machines tubes attached to me, I screamed and threw anything I could lay my hands on...I hit anyone who tried to touch me...it was an all out breakdown...I was bleeding...crying, screaming...I was in pain ...I don't know how long I was like that...
Katie ....I heard a voice calming calling me ...I am going to carry you to bed now. I turned and saw Mr Crown, he was still dressed the way I saw him earlier so he must have just got back ....I looked around me and the whole room was in a mess...I noticed everybody was far from me ...it was as if I was just coming out of a bad nightmare....
Katie I heard my name again ...I looked up at him, suddenly I started sobbing not believing that I had caused this kind of chaos ....I am sorry I said, I didn't mean to...
It's okay he said gently carrying me in his arms and sitting with me on the sofa, I was on his lap and he cuddled me like a baby.
One of the doctor tended to my wounds...while I was still In Eric's arms at first I refused anyone else touching me but he told me he was here that no one will harm me.
The nurses quickly started arranging the room again, putting my bed back to its former position...when every thing was back in place, Eric looked at me and I had fallen asleep....
He got up with me and placed me on the bed ...covered me up and turned to the doctor and nurses I want to see all of you now ...he said angrily walking out of the room.