"By the way, this is the library. It will take some time but you will soon be familiar with the house. Now, let's go downstairs," Crist said as both the brothers came out of the library and closed the door behind them.
I nodded my head and followed them. Both of them passed me a few glances but stayed silent as we finally reached downstairs.
We entered into what seemed like the dining room which was connected with the kitchen, where Daniel was currently busy baking some cookies.
He noticed the three of us and passed a warm smile towards me as he said, "So, you met Crist and Leo too."
I just nodded my head, noting that the younger brother was Leo. I was looking around the kitchen which was as perfect as the rest of the house when I noticed the three men passing worried glances to each other before all their eyes ended up on me.
I gulped down as a tight bubble started forming in my stomach. I knew that I had not done anything wrong. I didn't even speak all this time in fear that I would somehow mess up. I didn't act rudely too.
Then exactly what was going on? Were they angry because I wandered around the house and disturbed Leo & Christ? Were they going to punish me?
I bowed my head down as I fixed my eyes on my sneakers, biting my lips so hard that it started hurting.
I should have known better than wandering around the house. I should not have left my room at all. Didn't I have learned to control my hunger? Then why didn't I control it and stay inside my room?
Once again my mind was trying to make me realize that I was going to ruin a perfect opportunity of leaving my past behind. An opportunity that I did not even deserve.
"Em! Are you okay? Is there something troubling you Sorellina?"
Daniel's soft voice entered my ears. His hand came forward to hold my chin as he made me look at him. His deep green eyes were carrying worry and confusion in them.
I looked behind him to see that both Crist and Leo were looking as worried and confused as Daniel.
"I'm asking you something, Sorellina!" Daniel's voice was a little louder than before but it was still full of warmth.
"I-I am sorry. I didn't mean to wander around the house like that and I didn't disturb them on purpose." My voice was barely above a whisper but the chuckles that followed my miserable apology told me that they had heard me clearly.
An arm circled around my shoulder and the next second Leo was side hugging me.
I looked at them with surprised eyes. Why were they not shouting at me?
"Sweets! This is your house too. You can roam around it the entire day, enter whichever room you want, and do whatever you wanna do. No one is going to be angry at you for playing around in your own house." Leo chirped happily as he lightly squeezed my shoulders.
My mind was not ready to register his words. Did he really mean that? Were they really not going to get angry at me for strolling around the mansion? Was this really my house too?
When they kept looking at me with patient gazes, waiting for my reply, I slowly nodded my head in understanding.
I heard Daniel letting out a deep sigh before he pulled me away from Leo and made me sit down on a dining table chair.
I silently followed his instructions and sat down on the chair, facing my three brothers who also settled down on chairs around me.
"Sorellina, you need to start talking a little bit more. It's not healthy to stay quiet too much. Make sure that from now on whenever someone asks you a question you reply to them with a verbal answer. Don't always nod your head and keep quiet like this. Everyone here is dying to listen to your sweet voice. Okay?" Daniel's voice was soft and so were his eyes.
But my mind registered that he wasn't actually giving me a choice here. Behind his words was an order which I needed to follow. And I was trained by certain people to follow orders, without questioning them.
"Okay." My voice came out hoarse and raspy, completely opposite to the sweet one that Daniel and others were assuming.
"Here drink this and taste these cookies that I have personally baked for you." Daniel put down a tray with a plate full of freshly baked cookies and a glass of orange juice.
Both Crist and Leo received a glare from Daniel when they tried to pick cookies out of the plate.
A faint smile appeared on my face as both of them made cute pouty faces as they gave me warm smiles.
I slowly pushed the plate towards the two of them.
"No! They are for you, Sorellina. These guys can have their share from the next batch." Daniel said as he pulled the plate away from the hungry wolves and once again placed it in front of me.
"I don't like sweets," I mumbled as I looked at the three men who had suddenly gone still after my little revelation.
"Yo-You don't?" Leo asked with uncertainty in his voice.
"Yes. I don't." I was not sure if I was the only one aware of the pain and sorrow behind my words or if they had also felt it.
But the warm and welcoming environment had suddenly turned heavy.
----
This time I somehow managed to find the right direction towards the staircase that led me directly to the living room.
It was now half-past seven and listening to the voices that were coming from the kitchen, I was sure that my other brothers had also returned home.
I once again became nervous even though I had spent the last entire hour in preparing myself to meet my brothers, my new family.
But looked like all that was for nothing, as my heartbeats exhilarated with every step that I was taking towards them.
I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't even realize that I was about to hit a wall and by the time I noticed, it was already too late.
I staggered back a few steps as I tried to rub my nose to calm the pain down. My eyes turned upwards to look for the wall which was so cold-hearted that it almost broke my nose.
Yeah! Put all the blame on the wall!
But what my eyes found in front of me wasn't a wall but a man with cold dark green eyes. His dark black hair was falling on his face, hiding most of his eyes. His bare arms were covered in so many tattoos that only harden his appearance.
He was looking at me with.....nothing! Yeah, there were no emotions in his eyes. They were completely empty, devoid of any feelings and he almost appeared bored with the entire scenario.
I was about to apologize when he started speaking, "Everyone is waiting for you. Let's go." And with that being said, he turned around and disappeared into the kitchen.
Was he also one of my brothers? I asked myself as I stared at the empty space in front of me. But of course, I didn't get an answer to my question. I sighed and started walking towards the kitchen, towards my awaiting dinner night with my brothers.
When I finally entered the dining room, it went completely silent. I was so nervous that I bowed my head and stared at my feet which had given up on their job of walking.
"Emilia, come and sit."
A deep and intense voice entered into my ears, automatically making my legs start moving.
I didn't look up for a single second. Just reached the dining table and settled down on the first seat that came into my view.
Who knew that I would sit between two of my least favorite brothers or at least that's how I felt about them for a long time.
"Didn't your mother teach you any etiquette?"
I recognized the voice immediately. It was the same man with whom I collided just a few minutes ago. I realized that he was sitting on the chair at my right.
"Mark!" The same deep and intense voice boomed through the room, probably stopping Mark from making any more comments about my mother and the etiquettes or the lack of them in me.
But it was already too late. The dark memories of my past already started appearing in front of my vision, making me clench my fist tightly under the table.
"Oh! Someone is getting angry. What are you going to do? Punch me? Is that what you learned in the orphanage other than running away at every chance you got?" Mark's taunting voice once again mocked me.
I wanted nothing more than to just disappear away from that room, from his mocking words, and the images of the past that were taunting me, laughing at me.
But I stayed glued to my seat even though the urge of fleeing, vanishing from the front of those eyes that I could feel were fixed on me, was too strong to ignore.
It was a miracle that I still appeared normal physically even when my mind was anything but normal at that moment.
I was still looking at my shoes beneath the table and my loose hair was covering most of my face, that's why no one could see my face or my sorrowful expressions.
Mark only noticed my clenched fist but even he couldn't see my expressions clearly.
"Enough Mark! Go and help Daniel in setting the dinner table." The commanding voice was back, ordering my ass of a brother to shut his mouth.
I heard Mark muttering something under his breath as he stood from his chair and moved towards the kitchen. Coincidentally I heard a few choices of his words. I was curious if he used them for me or for the person behind that deep intense voice.
I wanted to know about the person behind such an authoritative voice. It was clear that whoever he was, he had his command over this house and the people who lived inside it, including me.
I felt a hand pressing on my left shoulder out of nowhere and it finally made me look up from my shoes.
It was Daniel who was standing behind me. His eyes held a little glimpse of worry but mostly they were full of the same warmth that had started to feel familiar to me somehow.
It was like I had started to look forward to these warm gestures from Daniel even though it was barely a few hours since I had known him. And once again that day I realized exactly how much desperate I was for this, for this new family, for this new chance, and for a better life.
I just wished that this new family didn't end up just like the other families from my past. The nicer they behaved with me the more I feared for the worst.
I was just too broken to trust someone or more like anyone at this point. If someone behaved nicely then my mind started seeing a hidden purpose behind their facade and if they didn't act nicely, my mind automatically registered them as one of the monsters from my past.
I was already broken and if I had to face my past once more, I would probably end up shattered and there would be no more hope left for me.
*************
A\N:
"Fall in love. Maybe it doesn't have to be with someone. Fall in love with music, art, dancing in the dark, car rides at 1 am, the glistening of the stars, the color of the sun as it rises, the smell of flowers, the feeling of adrenaline that takes over your whole body and suffocates your lungs with joy, good friends who bring out your best, silence, noise, fall in love with the little things that make you feel most alive and find purpose.
Fall in love with your Life!"