As he said my name... I recalled my past life.
'... To feel familiar with this situation... Ain't I pitiful?.... This makes me so sad...'
Isn't it ironic? Being able to think rationally thanks to such familiarity...?
'I guess...That's just how life is.'
Since my mind was working fast until now, I didn't notice how my body became freezing cold.
Marianne wasn't taking this the way I was.
I wonder how much of her soul was left with me for her body to react this strongly in these circumstances...
'Anne. Do not forget the words I already said once. I will take it for you, sweetie...' — Taking a pause, I got confident recalling that same past that had replayed in my head, causing my next words to be full of certainty. — '... Because I know I can take it.'
Finding all the determination I needed, I stared at him directly, waiting for his next words.
I did not avert my eyes. The intuition developed by experience in the past... says that I should not let my eyes be the ones to turn from the other's gaze first.
That's why I held my nerves in and stared at him with resolution.
"... Marianne..." — Paul repeated, this time with a softer voice, still looking deep into my eyes.
"... You danced today..."
A few seconds went by after he said this, giving me the hint I needed... to know what drove him to act this recklessly.
Finally, he averted his eyes a bit after, lowering his indecipherable gaze making the golden eyes slightly hidden under his eyelids.
"I feel disappointed Marianne... I wanted to be your first dance, you know?... Remember that we practised a lot a long time ago?"
"..."
"But it wasn't me who you danced with." Harsh eyes fell on me.
'Do not let yourself falter,' — I reminded myself. — 'Keep staring at him.'
"... That was the Crown Prince. Marianne."
"..."
"You might not know this... but that man is very dangerous..." — The back of his fingers caressed my cheek gently now as he continued. — "Until a moment ago... I was very upset with you Marianne... But I realized now that I was being unfair... you would never dance willingly with such a scary guy, right? After all...I know you better than anyone." — He said as if comforting me, giving a warm affectionate smile.
Paul only saw what he wanted to see, just like any unstable man would. He was quite pitiful in his insanity.
"Now... come here." — Paul said, to then grab my hand, that one that was lying flat at my side, making me get up from my position.
"Let's dance."
He was carefully holding my hand and placed his other one on my waist. I was convinced I had to comply with his wishes even if it was nauseating.
We started to dance... to the melody he hummed.
As time passed, he slowly made my body get closer to his. Sometimes, Paul would stop singing to breathe in my scent as if doing so was his way of truly breathing.
'.... Fuuu... Crazy b**tard...'
I had to swallow all of the revolting emotions surging within me as he did as he wanted. Staying calm is always the best choice.
Since Paul was the one leading, the dancing took quite some time, but gradually, he began to slow down until we weren't dancing anymore and just stood motionless.
".... I should go now... Since it must have been a long day for you..." — He finally distanced himself from me. However, Paul did not let go of one of my hands... He still had something else to say.
"You should rest here tomorrow." — An order disguised as a suggestion was made clear as he caressed my loose hair. The warmth from before disappeared from his eyes, leaving a threatening coldness. My hand was squeezed tightly, which I translated as a warning.
He left soon after.
I stared blankly at the door, not knowing what to think of everything that just happened.
Minutes later, his actions sunk in.
'... Why is he like this...'
His constant mood changes are not strange, however...
'... Don't speak softly... It's more dreadful if you do! You f**king psycho!!!!'
Grumbling to myself, annoyed by all the events I had to endure throughout the day, I went to seat on the couch placed in the room.
'... How can I sleep now?! Huh?!'
I felt my head throbbing from the huge headache I developed from the continuous stress.
'Forget sleeping. I'm wide awake now. I mean... how could I not?!'
Avoiding the fact that Marianne's body was slightly twitching in what seemed to be a defensive mechanism, I searched for the candle to light it up and took out the book about legends that I brought from the Duchy just in case.
During the night, I would alternate between reading a bit and then looking out the window from my seat. This cycle continued until the candle almost evaporated and the sun was already up in the sky. When the maid came to dress me up and serve breakfast, I stopped her from doing the first one and merely ate some of the food she had brought.
Afterwards, alone again, I went to bed and slept through the day.
Without leaving my room, I "rested" as suggested by Paul.
Honestly... I didn't have the intention of going out but... now Paul gave me a reason not to.
The maid, later in the afternoon, came to inform me that the Duke had asked about how I was doing — since I didn't visit the Empress's Garden.
That's when I remembered that the Empress's Garden visit was the "activity" of the second day. Thinking I might get scolded I immediately became depressed.
An angry Duke was something I didn't want to see. Moreover, being the reason for his anger made me feel embarrassed about my irresponsibility.
However, the Duke was not angry.
When he heard I was still resting, he ordered the maid to prepare a special tea and healthy light food for me to gain more energy.
The Duke, even wrote a little note addressed to me... To us.
[Dear, you must be very tired.
Rest well and eat your meals so you don't get sick. I've heard this herbal tea is very good for the body, so please drink it while it is still hot.
Don't get sick sweetie.
Your Father. ]
Contrary to my assumptions, when I read the first word written on the note, I realised the Duke was merely worried about me.
The fact that I had been a little in a bad mood, became clear. That single first word soothed my heavy heart.
In the past, I always looked fine. So, when the people closest to me didn't realize I was in a bad mood, I felt very lonely. But, when they did see I was having a hard time... they would... whine about it. Not even asking why I was like that.
Looking at the neat handwriting and the words he used to deliver his concern and care... were all it took for me to know how thoughtful he was towards me.
That's why I felt like crying once I finished reading the message.
'... He hasn't even seen me today... but he knows I'm not fine... this is his way of showing me he cares about me...' My heart throbbed to the thought.
I read the last two words of the note one more time.
[Your Father.]
'... I'm so happy...'
After that, I felt better. It was like I found comfort with the words "Don't get sick".
I went to the balcony in the room.
After Paul left, I stared at the window from the couch and eventually discovered it gave to a balcony. Breathing in the fresh air, I decided to take the bath I had delayed after coming back yesterday, to refresh myself. And so, I could finally have a good rest now.
The day ended in a blink, giving the cue to a new one to come.
The third and last day of the Royal Spring Ball arrived just like this.