"..."
I watched our reflection... feeling faint.
'You are brave.'
A breeze entered from the nearest window snapping me out of my dazed state.
I rolled my eyes, placing them in the letter on my hand.
'...'
I shoved off of my mind every depressing thought and turned back to my cool mood.
'...This means your Father is a safe route. Well done, Anne. The best!' — I nodded firmly to my reflection in the mirror, showing myself satisfied on the inside.
Now, without further ado... to the juicy one.
The DIARY!
I want to be positive and expect silly things written in here... but, let's be an as*hole and face reality.
It will definitely not be like that. Definitely.
I think it will most certainly tear my heart in a drastic and painful way.
'... Let's just read it... the worst that can happen is feeling her sadness and pain. I might cry and not eat well for a while... but... i~t's fi~ne~'
I'm a curious woman. And her past is mine now in a way too.
Hehe~
Go!
**********
'...'
Okay. I must say. I'm disappointed.
It's supposed to be a diary because you write every day in there... not once leaving blank days twice or thrice a week... Also...
Come On! Marianne!? What is this?! I knew there was a tragedy written here but... why would you just write about how you were abused and bullied by your brother? Ha! Not only that but later when your little sister grew up... That bi*ch also started harassing you!?
That little dwarf?! Ha! HA!
I'M SPEECHLESS.
Ohhh goodness! I want to spit on this family's children!!
'Hah...'
"..."
'...By the way... your handwriting is beautiful.' — I said while staring at the letters drawn, tired of my inner outburst.
Fine. Let's continue. There are still some pages left.
'...hmm most pages describe similar things... I can't read all of this madness... Fast forward~'
"..."
'Haa... driving me crazy, really... These people just...'
At some point, the pages were full of the same line.
[I am sorry ]
Then it changed to:
[ I will obey ]
And on the last page that contained something written... she must have ripped the paper with the quill after overflowing the last three pages with the same.
It wasn't enough to make me unable to know what she wrote though.
[ Die Marianne ]
Since I prepared myself for this possible outcome, I'm not shocked. Just mad.
I closed the diary and returned the hidden things to the original place. I walked back to the soft fancy sofa and lay down. Staring at the high ceiling.
'I always said it. After all, I was right. Life... is sh*t.' — I said, convinced and happy that I'm right thinking so.
My thoughts began to wander again.
I'm hungry.
'Hmm...'
The light coming through the window has the colour of the sunset... Dinner should be served soon.
Being conscious of my current situation...I know I should do something. Like writing the facts I remember from the novel and making some kind of plan, just like how they did in the novels I read in my past life. But... I don't want to.
I mean... I know it's important and all that... but, I don't really care...
No, it's not that...
Truthfully, I'm a lazy person.
My motto was "Don't do today what you can do tomorrow."
And thinking about it... it hasn't even been a day since I woke up here... but all this bull crap happened already...? Cut me some slack man...
'I impolitely refuse.'
Hmph!
**********
I dozed off for a little and then, the knock on the door woke me.
It was the maid announcing dinner was ready.
Great timing. My stomach was about to start growling.
I went down after making sure I looked fine, feeling refreshed for some reason.
The food was so tasty. And the wine was the best.
I've always liked wine~ so I drank happily. Though my face didn't show it...
I didn't pay attention to the conversation my current family was having.
Habits die hard I guess... I was never able to keep track of the conversations so I just said something when I knew what they talked about. Now I can't speak, so I didn't even try. Also, I wanted to act like Paul wasn't sitting next to me.
The mood was good... or so I thought.
Later, after returning to my room, ny little sister for some reason barged in.
THE VI-LLAI-NESS IS HEEEERE!!
She was very evil in the novel, so maybe her harassing lines to the Female Lead came from the accumulated practice she had with Marianne.
'I'm kind of excited! Is it weird? Oh whatever! Bring it on! Theressa Sylfinnier! I have high expectations!' — I thought, excited to see her in action and started at her who was in front of me.
"..."
'She's short, though...'
Is that why the Male Leads never took her seriously?
Pathetic.
She sounded like a cute little sister until the door closed. Now she's staring at me with disgust.
Feeling annoyed by her gaze, I snapped a little.
'Stupid girl. I'll embarrass you publicly once I'm able to speak clearly.'
This dwarf dared to bully Marianne when she is younger than her. Ha! The nerve!
"You. I hope you don't have any odd ideas in that stupid brain of yours." — Theressa started spouting with condescending eyes.
"..."
"At the Ball. Don't dare to act up. Don't do anything to bring attention to yourself. You are nothing. The important one is me. If you ruin it. I won't let you off."
'She... talks a lot.'
"Answer if you understood! You failure!"
'A chihuahua'
I nodded so she could leave faster.
And thankfully, she left after giving me a glare.
'... She's not intimidating AT ALL.'
Is it because the novel hasn't started? so her hatred is not at its peak?
This is disappointing.
'We should have positive thoughts when disappointing things happen! I'll take a bath and go to bed and think about what to do tomorrow! I'm a noble lady and I have advanced education from my former world. I can live easily in this society. Unlike before.'
I called the maids to prepare my bath. Took a long dip with a nice scented oil and after feeling relaxed, I prepared to go to bed.
My room had candles lit up, bringing me a nice cosy feeling. I blew off a few and left the one next to my bed untouched.
I had no thoughts in my mind.
I don't like useless thoughts and since I didn't feel like it...
'No planning today. Leave it for tomorrow.' — I decided.
Then, I closed my eyes and... on an impulse... My hands carefully placed themselves in my arms and squeezed myself to make it as if I was hugging myself.
I exhaled a long breath... this made me relax and after a few seconds, I said with my hoarse and almost nonexistent voice...
"..W..e ..w..ill.. l.i.....ve ...w.e...ll..fr... n.o..w.....Anne....."
The smile that I felt was appearing on my face as if drawn with a smooth and soft brush...extended over it like watercolour paint.
Surely it was the kind of smile I liked the most. One big and full of happiness.
We fell asleep like that... Peacefully...