When I walked to where she was right by the door, the view of the parked Ram in the parking lot immediately caught my eye again, it wasn't because of the beautiful posture of the monster truck, it was because of the beautiful girl that leaned against it, one foot pressed backward over the tire, arms folded over her jacket, I could see through the side mirrors that at least two of her friends were already inside the truck, I couldn't be sure if the third was already in the back seat, and I didn't want to dwell on that particular thought right now. The girl was not looking at me, an invisible object had caught her attention, when I followed her gaze, I saw nothing but the parking lot ground.
What was she looking at?
"Hey, Theodor, I was actually waiting for you, do you have a minute?" My self-proclaimed fan probably got bored waiting for me to say something now that I stood next to her for a full minute without talking. I was busy staring at someone else.
"Yeah, I came to hear out what you had to say to me, I'm all ears." I gave her my full attention, I was going to break her heart, but I wasn't going to leave her any room for speculations about a second chance with me, I respected other people's feelings, and knew that girls were not to be messed with, my mother planted this in me.
The thought hurt so I swallowed it hard.
"Um, that, I feel that what I want to say to you is something mutual between us." Her index finger traveled between her body and mine a few times, her eyes begged me to confess something I had not kept inside in the first place, I had to correct her false assumption, and leave her zero hope while I was at it.
"If I did anything that suggested there were mutual feelings between us at all, then I owe you an apology. I don't know how you got that impression, but I just don't see you that way."
"…Why?" She was not going to go down without a fight, instead of getting annoyed, I respected that. I was going to be honest with her.
"It is my second day in this school, I just moved here. I'm at a place in my life where more change is the last thing I want to go through right now, so I'm not looking for a girlfriend, you wouldn't want anything less than that, I think?" I regretted the question in the end, but it was too late to take it back now, I wanted to offer her my friendship, but it sounded like I was asking for a one-night stand.
I didn't do those.
"…Is there someone else?" My eyes went up without asking for permission to look at the girl who was still leaning against the Ram. Her foot was down now, and her big reddish-brown eyes that pierced through everything were piercing through me. My heart picked up the pace when she repeated what she did back on the football court, she brought her index finger over her full red lips and shushed me again.
Did she have to keep touching those lips while I looked at her?
"It is my second day here, there shouldn't be." That was not a lie as well. I forced my eyes to look back at my fan because she deserved that much, then I felt a pinch in my insides when I saw a pool of tears inside her hazel eyes. I quickly dismissed the feeling because I didn't want to give her any strange ideas about winning my attention that way.
"I'm sor-…" She turned on her heels and started running back inside without giving me a chance to apologize, I felt like a loser.
I'm sorry mom.
To make things ten times worse, the twins started laughing out loud in the background, I didn't realize that many boys had come to stand close by, everyone saw me letting the poor girl down, but it was not something that could have been avoided, I only wished she asked to see me in a more private place, for her sake, of course.
"Theo! Theo! You are living the dream man! Keep on rocking it for the rest of us! Hahaha!" Liam Johnson was shouting nonsense, he was on my list. The one that no one wanted to be on for sure. If he kept it up, he was going to pay for it.
My eyes went up to check on the one girl I wanted to look at some more, but she was already gone along with her Ram, not shushing me for once.
There was something strange about her.
The group of boys and I walked out to the parking lot. Many students were eager to leave, and we were no exception. I got in the Subaru and searched through my pockets to make sure the grocery list was still in there.
Last night my brother and I slept on an empty stomach. He was too busy making up for the classes that were required here, and though he didn't tell me, I knew he had already started a job hunt. It was the only explanation why he was always absent nowadays. He offered to fry some eggs, but we didn't even have that in the fridge. Instead of accepting his guilt about it, I took over kitchen assignments.
I was the picky eater after all.
Li could survive on dirt for all he cared, the perfect camper, that's how my late parents always called him. We both had huge appetites that only matched our massive sizes, but our tastes were very different. That fridge was going to get filled today. I had my grocery list and some cash, I was on a mission.
On the way home, the twins were replaying the friendly match in their heads, while my head was fully occupied with a certain someone.
What was that unidentified guy friend she had whispering in her ear so privately? What did it mean for her to make the same weird gesture twice at me? — her actions and my reactions toward them were beyond me.
I felt like I was missing something huge. But what was it? There was something that I couldn't remember. Maybe it wasn't important so I forgot about it.
I rubbed my forehead over and over and over again, something else bothered me today, right after I saw her sitting there next to him by the end of the game, a headache of some sort attacked me, but why couldn't I remember what caused it?
It must be all the sleepless nights, they were finally coming back to bite me where the sun didn't shine.
The shop I planned to go to was in my neighborhood, just a few blocks north, right off the highway. I asked the boys to drop me there and so they did. Once I was inside, it hit me; I had no idea what exactly it was that I'm doing. I didn't even know what aisle to start from. The feeling I had was the opposite of the feeling I usually have when I'm on the football court. I was in a strange environment, and I was under an unknown threat, the names that were written with markers above each aisle mocked me.
Did we need to get cleaning products as well?
Of course, we did.
But how was that supposed to work out anyway? I had never worked a washing machine in my entire life, and there were too many products to choose from. There was dried powder, there was liquid, and there were smaller packages that said they were more concentrated — It was a whole new form of torture. It was a bite too much to chew, I needed to man up and ask for help. So I took my cellphone out of my pocket and dialed the most reliable person I could think of for this.
"Hello? Sophie?"
"There he is Li, don't call him he called me first! Hi, Theo? Where are you!"
"Where am I? Where are you!"
"I'm at your house dummy!"
"That's… even better than what I had in mind, are you in the mood for some shopping, sparklers?"
She laughed out "Say what now?"
I rubbed the back of my head a couple of times, embarrassed, I was glad she was not here with me, I hated it when my ears felt all hot, I knew they were about to become red any minute now.
"It's your name from now on, so live with it, sparklers." There, I've said it again. She reminded me too much of fireworks, so, that was that.
"Okay, okay, where are you shopping at? I'll come to you." She sniffled once and I could picture her wiping the tears with the back of her hand from laughing so hard, at me, that is. I had a goofy wide smile as I shook my head once while I walked aimlessly in the not-so-threatening aisles anymore.
"Don't come here alone, it's dark, I'll come to get you." She was tiny.
"Whaa? Are you implying I can't take care of myself? The darkness should be afraid of me!" I didn't like where this was going, I didn't want to imagine anything that could hurt her.
"I said I'll come to get you,"
"Sheesh… chill Mr. Cranky. Li and I are on our way."
That was a relief.
"Okay then, I'm sending you my location now."
"See ya!"
* * *
Shopping with Sophie and Liam felt extremely normal. The anxiety this place gave me was gone, it was almost relaxing now with all the jokes Sophie was cracking left and right. She had a very special way with words, and I never met anyone like her before, being next to her felt good.
She was very thorough with her explanations, every item she picked was added to a list on her phone that she said she would send me afterward, she kept everything simple and by the time we got out, I knew that shopping was never going to give me the creeps ever again.
When we got back home, we unloaded the groceries, folded the bags that we could use again, and placed them in a drawer under the oven — I didn't even know it existed until Sophie pointed it out.
She brought life into the lifeless kitchen.
Nothing short of a small tornado. Preparing one main dish, two side dishes, and dessert all at the same time. That was not all, she kept switching between her playlists on YouTube, she sang and danced her way around the kitchen then complained that the lists were too boring and needed updating.
I wasn't even paying attention to the menu, neither was Li for sure, we were only taken aback by the little explosion that had invaded our house, we were both more than happy with the small tasks she gave us. And so when it was finally time for dinner, she had both Liam and me calling her 'boss', I tried to add 'little' before her newly acquired title, but refrained from adding it again after receiving one hit from the spatula on the back of my head.
The three of us sat and enjoyed our corn on the cob, grilled vegetables, and the side salad. While the cheesecake started smelling heavenly from inside the oven. We talked about our day, and they both listened to every single detail of the match as if it was the most important event in the world.
Sophie felt like family.
Li did the dishes afterward, while Sophie and I figured out how to start the washing machine. Once the house chores were done and over with, and right after the cheesecake sat comfortably inside my heart. Sophie gave me a strange look.
"What is it, sparklers?"
"It is you; I have a bone to pick with you."
"Me?!"
"Aha, you heard me right the first time."
"What did I ever do to my one and only boss?"
"You looked down on me, while we were talking on the phone."
It finally clicked, and the sense of humor left me.
"About that Sophie, don't misunderstand me. Having you here is beyond cool, I don't know what we would have done if it wasn't for aunt Olivia and you."
"Become starving homeless persons?"
I struggled to keep a serious but ended up smiling at the warmth she spread.
"Bottom line, don't come here alone when it's dark, or better yet, don't come here alone at all, or anywhere else for that matter, just give me a call, ha? I'll gladly pick you up and take you wherever it is you feel like going to. Okay?"
"Not okay."
Something strange ran through my back and shoulders, and my hands suddenly got all cold. My brain was telling me that this was me getting angry, while I was telling my brain that this was a bit going overboard. The little thing was being stubborn, that was all.
"Let's have a real fight, Mr. Cranky."