Chapter 7 - A Hopeless Life

"B-But.... you do know that they're poisonous, Your Majesty? And yet you still keep them..... I don't understand....."

But deep down, his pessimistic brain had already come up with many assumptions.

Ren Jidian felt like his heart was pumping too much blood and that if it kept pumping more this way, he might pop like an overinflated balloon.

The Empress did not answer him, instead....

He peered by his window, with a lazy smile.

Ren Jidian also looked outside. Sceneries like this felt like something he could only watch on unsold TV screens at the mall.

You know how they would show pictures and videos of nature over and over again? It reminded him of that, but now, he's not just watching in a dumb amusement.

He can feel, smell, and even taste a bit of its freshness. It was so....

"Beautiful." He murmured.

The Empress turned to him, and finally spoke.

"You are a strange one." The Empress said.

"I get that a lot." Ren Jidian chuckled, scratching the back of his neck.

It still felt so.... painful. For Wei Sizhi to not recognize him.

Yet his pumping heart was also ecstatic to just even see him again. After death, they can see each other again. He was right in front of him, with only a tea table keeping them apart.

It took all his power not to cry or show how happy he was to meet him. How much he wanted to reach out and hold him....

"When you said beautiful, it was exactly what was on my mind. When I looked outside, I also wanted you to look outside for some reason, and you did. You are strange." The Empress said calmly.

"We must have had some sort of connection in the past life, Your Majesty." Ren Jidian said, while looking away.

Those words sound like a corny pick-up line..... But knowing that it was true, it instead made an effect on him than it did in Wei Sizhi.

Right, he was Wei Wangyi now.

"I hope so." Empress Wei smiled at this, despite his expectations of being brushed off. "That fraudulent medium told me that I had been long connected with the Emperor in all my past lives. I would rather be connected to someone like you than him."

As he was about to take an unripe elderberry, Ren Jidian grabbed his wrist.

"Empress..." Ren Jidian frowned, like he was in pain. "Do not waste your life away for one man."

Wei Wangyi's eyes widened at this, but narrowed once more as he made a mocking smile. He gently shrugged Ren Jidian's hand off.

"That's exactly what I am doing. I will not have my life wasted by him."The beautiful man placed the fruit and eat it in one bite.

"You are poisoning yourself so he may not have control over you." Ren Jidian said with gritted teeth. "That is still wasting away your life. There must be another way---"

Wei Wangyi slammed his hand on the table!

Ren Jidian flinched. But Wei Wangyi did not slap him or punch him.

He said in a stern voice. "What other choice do I have? Did you think I never considered that? Did you think that the reason why I made myself like this in the first place... was because I was hoping to collude with some physician to help me escape this hell?"

Ren Jidian looked up again with eyes wide.

It was evident on the Empress's face.

The tiresome days and night he spent trying and trying for this escape plan to work... so much of it was etched as sorrow and disappointment on his dimming eyes.

"If only I was allowed to have a Yang or Zhong physician, I would have even used my body just to escape. I am willing to trade it all away, because someone like me...."

He smiled bitterly. "Someone like us, has no way of surviving the world with only ourselves. We need saviors, heroes..."

Ren Jidian felt hurt. This was not how Wei Sizhi thinks, he was much more strong-willed than this. But then again....

This world was much more different that their world, yet also similar at the same time.

In the end, he rebels yet was taken by an Alpha, right? He must have only been hiding his pains with a smile.

Wei Wangyi must have suffered even worse in his life, with no laws or protections for his rights at all during the tyrannical rule of Zau Ting.

It pained him, and he could not speak for a while. But he mustered his courage and said:

"Then.... let me be your savior. I promised that I will be the one to cure you. I know your illness now, and it's time to deliver the cure."

He looked at the Empress straight to the eye. "Empress Wei, you are suffering from this Palace of Pain and Sorrow. Let me cure you by helping you escape from it."

Wei Wangyi's eyes widened at this, and he was shaken visibly by this. And then.....

He laughed.

Ren Jidian became annoyed, as he felt like Wei Wangyi was laughing at him because he found it impossible for a Yin man to have the guts to escape with him.

"I know that it feels impossible, and it's hard to trust a meek Yin man like me, but I can figure something out---"

"What was your name again?" His pink lips stretched in a wide grin, as he poured tea on his empty cup again.

"Qing... Ren Guang." He said, feeling a little sorry for his father.

He really preffered his original last name, not to mention that... .

He was hoping it would help Wei Sizhi remember him. 

"Ren." He said, with a smile. "Ren.... I like how it sounds."

This gave Ren Jidian a glimmer of hope. "Does it feel... familiar?"

"Yes. It's the symbol of responsibility, isn't it?"

Ren Jidian's heart sunk. "I..... guess."

"A responsible person. A trustworthy person." Wei Wangyi placed the cup of tea to him. "I hope you would uphold your own name, Ren Guang."

His expression brightened up again at this. "You are saying that---"

"That I would like to hear what you plan to do. How you plan to escape with me. Then...." he smiled. "I will give you anything that you ask of me, if it was within my capabilities."

Ren Jidian took the cup excitedly. "Thank you, Empress! I won't let you down---"

Wei Wangyi made a gentle shushing gesture, placing a finger over his own plump lips.

"Right. We must first be discreet, of course." Ren Jidian blushed at this.

He can't help thinking about it. The more he looked at him, the more his emotions stirred.

He really looks so beautiful wearing those robes.

"Beautiful....." Empress Wangyi suddenly said while still looking at him.

Ren Jidian almost choke. "P-Pardon, Empress?"

"I felt it again. That you find something beautiful. This connection you have with me, it's really strong like a current within my mind." He said, moving closer.

He touched the side of Ren Jidian's face. "You must know that you are now my only hope. My life feels like a barren frozen land but your belief in yourself somehow felt like warm sunlight passing through the gaps of the ice. Your smile....."

"It's very beautiful."

Ren Jidian felt like he could just melt with how much those words made his body become an overheated mess.

He sighed. "Now I am scared. I do not want such a smile to disappear once my husband finds out. If he kills you, I will finally kill myself as well. I have no more hope left in this world."

"Empress!" Ren Jidian exclaimed, holding the hand that touches him. "Do not say things like that. I won't fail no matter what. I was a person with pessimistic views and can barely believe in my capabilities but..."

"I believe in you. I believe that you deserve much, much better than wasting your life away because of that man, because of this world, because of the life that maltreated you. I know it may be difficult, but please believe in me as well."

He could not stop it anymore since the hand smelled the same freshness as the nature outside, and his heart was completely pulled that he...

Kissed the Empress' hand.

Empress Wei's lips parted a little at this. He seemed to be surprise, and Ren Jidian feared about how he will react once he got over that shock---

But he instead smiled, and just gently took his hand away. Not saying anything else.