He felt controlled, both in mind and body, and there was no stopping it. Maybe, if he hadn't ignored the signs from the beginning, he wouldn't be torn between his loyalty to Ivan and his desire for freedom. Unfortunately, it was too late to regret his actions, cause the deed has already been done, but, if Ivan ever comes to hate him for what he did, he would still stay, and make sure his cousin was unharmed– it was his duty to ensure he returned back safely to the kingdom, and he was going to fulfill it.