Dylan
Disbelief, sorrow, and betrayal were just a few of the emotions running through me that were causing me pain. I'm shaking all over, but I'm not sure if it's from the crying of the shock of the past few minutes.
The tears that rolled down my face and into my mouth were warm and salty and they made my stomach ache.
I knew that someone was carrying me in their arms and even though I was fully aware of my nudity I didn't have it in me to feel ashamed.
Lecia's voice penetrated the haze in my mind and I could tell that she was very close, but I couldn't figure out how to open my eyes and see anything around me.
The arms around we were strong and steady and uncomfortably warm. In my head I knew it had to be one of Lecia's brothers, but I truly didn't care which one it was.
A vicious storm was raging inside of me, and when Rae tried to mutter to me, my mind wouldn't grasp what she was saying.
Breaking down was the only thing that I could do, that was the only thing that no one had taken from me.
Curling into myself further than I already was felt good. It felt as if I could hold all of the broken pieces of myself together for just a little longer.
The heat that I felt on my back, my arms, and under my knees seemed to be increasing to the point it was starting to feel uncomfortable.
"Run faster, the rain is making her cold, I can feel her body temperature dropping," a voice said much closer to my head than I liked.
Was it raining, I couldn't even tell, but it felt poetic in a way. That the world and all who lived in it should feel just a fraction of the storm brewing inside me. That is what they deserved. What he deserved.
As soon as the thought echoed in my mind, a pain shot through my heart and I briefly heard the clap of thunder in the distance.
Regardless of all the things I had been through in my life, I had been able to build a life for myself. Creating a safe place where I could exist outside of the pack who despised me.
When Lecia and her brothers had entered my life, I was hesitant of what might happen, but they brought me joy and happiness that I thought I would never experience.
Pieces of me were glued and strengthened with each experience and memory that they helped to create.
Others may not have seen the changes I felt, but I felt them. I saw them in myself and I heard them from Rae.
Eren is the one I had reservations about, but if he was really that close with the twins then maybe he could help to rewrite his place in my life and his own impact there.
How stupid I must seem to him to have been so gullible to let him get close to me just so that I would let my guard down around him.
I had fallen for his trick so willingly because what, he had been kind a time or two. That didn't replace all of the countless times he had been an absolute terror to me.
All of the times that I had felt something for him started to flash in my mind. The sorrow at his parents being dead, the worry about the scars on his body, the desire when I saw him naked in the woods.
Desire. That was the worst of them all. To know that I had betrayed myself. I had let his looks, his pretty words, and his false shows of kindness make me see him as something other than what he truly was.
Not realizing that the rhythm of my bearers strides was lulling me into a sense of comfort, I let everything that had been bottled up inside of me come to the top and overflow until I had wrung myself out and was slipping into nothingness.
But the bliss of oblivion didn't last long because I was suddenly aroused by banging, screams, and slurred curses.
"What are you even going to do?"
"How could he let them do that to her?"
"What if there was a reason for this, for all of this?"
"Are you f*cking stupid?"
"Do you think that there's any excuse for what she just went through, for everything that she has ever gone through?"
Voices getting louder and louder are causing a pressure behind my eyes to increase and pulse in a way that I knew would not let me fall back to sleep.
My body felt heavy as I tried to move towards the voices that kept getting louder and louder. Slowly, I realized that I was on the couch in my living room, so I moved carefully because I briefly remembered that I had previously been naked.
Cool damp stands of hair fell in my face as I slowly turned my head to the side. Wrapped in the soft quilt from my bed, I pulled it tighter around me as I wriggled like a little worm to face the people in my living room.
As the soft cotton blanket rubbed against certain sensitive areas of my body, I became keenly aware that I was still naked, so I made sure that my wriggling didn't uncover any parts other than my feet and arms.
Even though I was moving very slowly and carefully, I had apparently made enough noise to get the attention of my guests.
"Oh Gods, Dylan, you're awake," Lecia yelled as she ran across the room and practically threw herself on top of me.
When her body collided with mine, I flinched at the burst of pain that radiated throughout my entire body.
Lecia pulled away quickly, "Gods I'm so sorry, I'm such an idiot."
Reaching out, I grabbed her arm to stop her from moving to far away, "no, don't be sorry. I'm a bit sore, but," I pulled her closer and whispered, "I'm naked under this."
Realization must have set in because I watched her face shift from apologetic, to understanding. "It's completely fine Dylan, we're totally used to this kind of thing."
Looking past her to where Nico and Cruz stood almost fully across the living room, and seeing how they were actively avoiding my gaze made me think that they might not be as comfortable as she thought.
"Um, would you guys mind if I go wash up really quick," I asked to the three of them as a whole, but Lecia was the only one who responded.
"Of course, do you need some help getting up," she asked as she slowly helped me get up off the couch while keeping all my unmentionables nice and covered.
Finally in my room, I grabbed some clothes out of the closet and jumped in the shower. My hair was wet enough that I knew someone had tried washing out the pasta and sauce, but I could still feel and smell the food that was in it.
Standing in the middle of the shower, I adjusted the head so that I was standing directly under the flow of the near scalding water. Wanting to wash away everything that happened is all I could think about.
Rae seemed hesitant to speak to me and I knew why, but I was not going to beg her if she wasn't going to apologize to me. Ignoring her thoughts, I washed my hair twice and then jumped out to get dressed in a pair of oversized sweats and a long sleeve tee.
The steam of the shower puffed out of the door when I opened it and for a moment it made me giggle, but as I walked past the mirror on my dresser I saw the swelling in my face and I watched the smile melt away before my eyes.
For a moment I didn't want to walk out of this room because in here I was safe from everything and everyone. Here I didn't have to recall what had happened today and how I had been completely fooled by Eren.
Pressure built up behind my eyes and I knew that if I didn't try to think about something else I was going to end up bawling my eyes out again.
I took the towel off my head and let my wet hair fall down my neck and back. Staring at the pitiful girl in the mirror made me feel so uncomfortable because as she stared back at me there was nothing about her that I liked.
A soft knock on my door pulled me out of my thoughts and I immediately jumped up and practically pulled the door off it's hinges in my haste to open it.
"Hey Dylan, I just wanted to make sure that you were okay," Lecia said as she leaned against the door frame.
Was I okay, I thought to myself and Rae was about to say something, but I immediately shut down our connection. I didn't need her empty words of reassurance if she wasn't going to explain to me what happened earlier.
"Yeah, I'm totally good," I said as I pushed my way past her into the hall. I could hear the twins in my kitchen and I was eager to see what they were doing.
To my surprise, they had already whipped together some soup and sandwiches. When they saw me walk in Nico rushed over and wrapped me up in a big hug before asking, "are you okay with hugs?"
Having his big arms wrapped around me felt oddly comforting, but I suddenly remembered that it had been one of them who cared me here while I had been completely naked.
When he finally let go of me, I saw the genuine concern from Lecia's face reflected on his own. This close, I could see that the green of his eyes had little gold flecks in it, and that there was a slight dusting of freckles that played across his nose and cheeks.
I leaned in and squeezed him again quickly before letting him go. This type of closeness was foreign to me, but I relished it. So many times I wished that Rae could hold me in her arms when it was just the two of us.
Pushing myself away, I saw that Cruz stood close to the table just watching us. The look in his eyes was both similar to his siblings, but held something else. Something that I was very familiar with. Guilt.
Nico wrapped his arm around my shoulders as he stepped to the side and Lecia grabbed my opposite hand as if they were afraid if they didn't walk me to the table I somehow wouldn't make it there.
The food on the table was simple, but it was one of my absolute favorites. The smell of tomato soup filled my nose and made my stomach growl.
There were four large bowls filled to the brim and in the in the center of the little table, there was a plate piled high with grilled cheese sandwiches and a small bowl with shredded cheese beside it.
I couldn't stop the tears that filled my eyes, but I dug my fingernails deep into the palm of my hand to try to keep them there.
No one had ever been kind to me like this, but here they were. At first I had been embarrassed to see them after what happened back at school, but now I knew that it was silly of me to have let those thoughts enter my mind.
Before I thought to hard about it, I shook my head slightly as if I was shaking off the pressure of my own thoughts, and smiled up at Cruz. He was still standing on the opposite end of the table, but he returned the smile I gave him.
"Thank you," I said as I stared at him. For a moment he just stared right back before turning his head to the side and looking away saying, "you shouldn't thank me."
I had been about to question him when Nico released my shoulders and pulled out the chair in front of me. Lecia sat to my right and pulled her chair a little closer to me because she was still holding my right hand.
"Are you going to let her go so that she can eat, or do you think she can't do that on her own either," Cruz barked at her.
"What is your problem," she yelled, "don't act like you're not just as worried about her as I am."
Cruz was still standing there looking off into the kitchen, but when I glanced at Nico I saw the slight shimmer there and I knew that he was probably speaking to Cruz even if I couldn't see his eyes.
The tension in the air was palpable and even though I have been in the middle of their sibling arguments, I wasn't in the mood to deal with one right now.
"Thank you for carrying me home," I said to Cruz as I felt the heat flare in my cheeks.
He turned to look at so me so fast that I knew I was right by the pink that filled his cheeks as well. "How did you know it was me," he asked surprised.
Well, I was just guessing because Nico's arms felt a little different when he had grabbed me up into that hug a moment ago, but his response confirmed my suspicions.
"It's only because he got to you first," Nico grumbled with obvious annoyance and I had to admit it was really cute.
Lecia rolled her eyes next to me and finally let go of my hand as she reached out to grab me a sandwich and scoot the bowl of cheese over to me. "Can you idiots stop trying to play the hero and just sit down and eat."
Watching the way that Lecia handled her brothers always amazed me. Even though they were younger than her, they were both bigger than her in height and sheer mass, but she acted like they were mere toddlers.
Cruz finally sat down and the four of us started eating. I wasn't sure if it was the food or everything that I had gone through earlier, but I ate the entire bowl and three sandwiches before I realized that they were all staring at me.
"What," I said as I put the last bite of the sandwich I had used to sop up the remnants of the soup that were sitting at the bottom of my bowl.
The toasted buttery bread had left my fingers feeling greasy and I hadn't even realized that I had thrown each finger in my mouth and liked each one quickly to remove the butter goodness.
Shyness filled me as I realized what I must have looked like to them. Quickly I looked at each of their faces, Lecia looked pleased, Nico looked impressed, but Cruz's expression was something different.
When our eyes met, I watched as color filled his cheeks again and he quickly looked away.
Odd, but I immediately smiled and was about to thank them for the food when there was a loud banging on my front door.
All four of us immediately turned to the door, and while I had shut down the connection with Rae I could sense that she was angry. Angry at me, at herself, but especially angry about who ever it was outside.
"Who would come here," Nico and Cruz asked a the exact same time, but this time I didn't laugh, I only looked between them with as much confusion as I felt.
"No one. No one ever comes here besides you three," but as the words came out I remembered then who else comes here and the dread I felt at his presence must have shown on my face because both of them looked furious.
"Who Dylan," Lecia asked softly.
The knocking came again, but much harder this time and I almost wished I hadn't eaten so much because I was sure that I was about to throw it all up as I spoke his name.
"Alpha Rogan."