After a month of no interaction, finally, I came to Marvel.
Hesitantly pulling down the doorknob with my hand, I pushed the door open. Marvel's bedroom was dark. The only light was from a celestial body shining through the giant window, adequately bright to create vivid shadows on the floor.
I scanned my surroundings and soon I found him lying on the bed, chest to down was buried under the warm blanket. No wonder I got no answer even though I had knocked many times... But, not letting the current situation discourage me, I closed the door and walked toward the bed.
Standing still, my eyes were still locked on the man who was sleeping so soundly, his breath even deep. The rest of the room was a meaningless backdrop to him, a mere frame for the morning to come. Just like my existence here and now, so insignificant, so unnecessary.
Perhaps, this isn't the right time to come?
Or maybe, it's already too late?
I thought I wasn't the only one who couldn't stop thinking about him that I was hardly sleeping at night. I thought he would at least worry and check on me before long.
It ended up being just my invalid presumption.
In fact, seeing him so calm and undisturbed toward our distance was enough to answer my questions.
'It looks like the master has gotten bored with his toy already.'
I overestimated myself.
I knew it was all just for the investigation, but the feeling of being the only one yearning for his presence, for his touch, when he'd always been wanting me this whole time, was frustrating...
Without thinking, I lifted my hand toward Marvel's face. When I looked at him, I noticed not only his hair, but his lashes and brows were also light greys in color, just like cinders, making him look like a fairy. Was he born with those features naturally?
In the realization that I had been showing irrelevant desperation of the mission I was given, my fingers halted just an inch before touching Marvel's face. I clenched my hand, pulling it back.
"How miserable," I softly laughed at myself, turning away and leaving the bed. Right before my first step, I felt an unhesitant grasp around my wrist, stopping me all at once.
"I'd waited for three months back then. I convinced myself that I could wait for another three months this time, but..."
I flinched and it was Marvel, getting up and pulling my hand. I slumped and seated on the bed edge in front of him, dumbfounded by his fast movement, and then his words. Before I finished processing the meaning behind them, I blankly looked at his face, but he was staring at the hand he was holding, squeezing it gently.
While the distance between us was reduced by his serene motion, the words were kept in discontinuation, and what I knew after that was his face already on my shoulder. His other hand faltered, but before long reaching my waist, lingering around me and my body was pulled closer.
Shit...
When Marvel showed me his vulnerability, with those somber eyes, with that sour smile, I nearly jumped at him.
At this moment, his arms embraced a fraction tighter of me and I breathed more shortly, my body was trapped into his form as every muscle gained its tension to the touch.
How could it be that I didn't see it coming? He was feeling the same!
"You don't need to hold back," I threw away my doubt and created my own opportunity. "Because I also missed you so much, Sir."
At first, I was so eager to hug Marvel back. Suppressing the strong desire to do so, I thought it would be a waste to not using the situation as I knew it may be my only chance to be with him, and so I pulled apart and slowly kissed him.
Soon as I touched his lips with mine, just as I expected, he kissed me back without reluctance. Risking myself for the aftereffect of doing that to him, I tried to maintain my composure. But, I was completely blind to my own capacity that I forgot who I was facing.
The gradual process to a more desirable state had me spellbound. With my mouth, I felt how Marvel's lips move, the smooching sounds engulfing my words. I had been kissed before, but never like he did from what I remembered.
There was something so intense, but at the same time gentle. He gave me the respect of an equal, but his menace strangled me like a thrall. One moment I was important to him, the next minute I was unnecessary, couldn't even say which one I preferred. But, what's making me confused was the transition, for my conscious couldn't process it, but my subconscious could.
Perhaps, the feeling had been there all along, but without some action, it was trapped.
I felt Marvel brush my hair with his long and elegant fingers, delicate yet strong enough in every grip to stop our momentum. We ruled our breath.
"I need to take a shower," he told and it was strange, somewhat unlike him to cut our connection with such a reason.
Well, he is Marvel Yerevan, after all. He can do whatever he wants and he will.
I was sitting still when he put the blanket away from his legs, rising from the bed, and then walking toward the door. In a short interlude of silence, my gaze followed his backside, not letting the moment to enjoy his charming figure slip away. He let the door open and without glancing back, I heard his voice.
"You go, too."
***
The warm fog spread all over the bathroom, filling the air, making the atmosphere heavier than it should. The drizzle of warm shower crashed against the tiles, rushing noisily. It sprayed upon Marvel, flowing throughout his body to the floor.
The squeaking sound of the tap was heard and the drops stopped all at once, the haze gradually subsiding. The man I was looking at wiped his wet hair backward, still not uttering a word, his gesture tranquil. All of that clarity and yet my sight was murky, or rather, what I was seeing tried to fool my intelligence. I commanded all thoughts to leave and just focused on what was happening.
I gulped hard. Standing unclothed in front of me was Marvel, facing the wall, his backside on me. I scanned his profile from head to toe, at a loss for words. It was the first time I saw him like that.
Marvel is reluctant to show his skin. He never wears short sleeves. He doesn't take his socks off even when it's hot. It might be safe to assume it's a habit of him? No one knows for sure. He is hard to understand. Not exceptionally this time.
Until today, I had only ever seen his neck and wrists below. Even when we were doing it, he never took off his outfits, just me. And the reason behind all that is probably...
I found myself staring at Marvel's body, the body that had been painted in the dominant scratches of charcoal, surrounded with partial shades of crimson and ivy. Beneath his neat clothes, there engraved a full-body tattoo; of lotus flowers on the lake with the greenery of their leaves, the clouds above the grey mist swarming around in the vast sky of azure, and the tangerine shadow on the left side of his back depicting a sunrise. In some parts there were dragons and some unnamed animals; I would need to look closely if I were to identify, and also as complicated as unfamiliar creatures similar to demons and gods with their castles, the four seasons, and then various letters I wasn't even capable to read.
What a graceful yet at the same time sinister collaboration, I thought to myself, such irregularities wrapping around beautifully from his shoulders to his wrists and ankles. I got the feeling that all those things, all those colors, everything had a meaning.
"Sir, why suddenly..." I paused, giving my system a little while to compose the words. "I mean, every time we... do it... you never even once take off your clothes. Why do you want me to be around when you're taking a shower now?"
After all this time, what has made you change your mind?
To be honest, I was taken aback seeing his body for the first time. Even though I was completely being shown to his skin, I barely saw his skin.
It was more ink than skin.
For some reason, it reminds me of myself with the undercover...
"I feel somehow I reek of blood, and I need you to wash the stench away."
For perhaps a split second, my fear was suspended, the surprise shielding me like glass until it entirely shattered in front of me. Some people would call it a shock, but to me, it was the same thing as the tiniest fraction of a shredded second; an inability to calculate.
When Marvel answered, his back profile was still on me, his figure unmoving, yet at that moment, I felt I would likely get harmed if I didn't defend myself against the situation I was in, even in the end, I knew I couldn't win.
Reek of blood, he said... He couldn't be serious, right?
I forced my capacity to contain and even my ability to process the meaning behind his words, yet I found them inadequate. Without a filter, the air absorbed his voice, and certainly, I heard it very clearly. But, it was exactly the reason why I couldn't believe my ears.
"Are you just going to stand there?"
Marvel glanced at me from his shoulder, giving an honest stare of his intention. He didn't look like he was in a foul mood, but the atmosphere around him wasn't that good, either. I wasn't sure why, but my instinct told me not to provoke the current state of him and it would be best to obey his orders and give in.
As usual.