A year ago, after her second miscarriage, the royal physician said that she was unable to bear a child anymore. Eleanora, who had held all her hopes in that child didn't know what to do, how to keep going for a moment.
That was the one thing that she had pinned all of her hopes on for her fate to change, for him to change. She tried every medicine and medication they told her to do without asking a single question.
Kept praying to god to make him recognize her efforts, and her love for him.
Eleanora did everything she could do, but now that she finally got pregnant again, he completely broke her trust and respect towards him.
Only she knew how happy she was when she felt another magical presence in her body and knew that she was pregnant once again, for the third time.
'I was about to give your father a surprise... But his surprise just shocked the hell out of me; what should I do now, baby?'
'You never liked a man around me but, in the meantime, you cheated on me openly…'
Eleanora thought as she bitterly chuckled and stroked her belly which was still flat.
'Every second is reminding me of my foolishness…'
She had always tried everything to keep his attention on her.
As a knight commander, Eleanora wasn't all soft and delicate like those other ladies.
So, before she married him, she lost weight, tried to make herself prettier, and dedicated herself to the empress's duties.
'But probably he hated me to the point that he didn't even hold a wedding ceremony, and I foolishly got married with a smile without understanding the mockery.'
They were the most successful empire in the world and a part of that was due to her.
He told Eleanora to prove her worth to him; she bought down every enemy and land he desired.
But whenever he had embraced her in the past it had always been cold, clinical, as if he was performing a duty rather than enjoying himself.
More like punishing her which she never got to know about.
Those short moments that he indulged her had been everything to Eleanora.
The only times he had ever touched her with intimacy, she was happy even if that hurt.
Her skin would send sparks wherever their bodies met as their magic was bound together as they were partners, and his scent would intoxicate her.
She had always wanted more and more of him and to be like any ordinary married couple, but once he was done, he would fix himself and leave.
No apology, no sympathy.
The emperor would rather see the empress suffer than give her even an ounce of love or affection.
He couldn't even spare her the decency of a glance while passing by her.
His lack of respect for her was evident.
But she still ignored all of this, as she couldn't stop loving him… as if she was born to only love him.
Now, Eleanora really feels like she can't stand it anymore and wants to leave this place as she doesn't know how to face him like nothing has happened.
He truly disappointed her today and she can't ignore this mistreatment anymore.
She caught the hem of her dress as she ran outside into the palace garden with tears filling her jewel-blue eyes.
'Enough is enough!'
'How dare him to treat me like that?!'
The cold fresh air hit her face as she breathed it in; forcing a chill through her body but it couldn't calm down her raged heart which was betrayed.
Her failed pregnancy in the past made her feel insecure and thus she decided to not inform anyone about this until her pregnancy became stable.
She didn't want this child to meet the same fate as the previous ones.
But now Eleanora felt glad that she didn't expose it.
If the emperor heard about it right now, she knew they would be thrown aside - just as she had been discarded.
A battle will begin between the two children to take over the throne and what if this child of hers also gets harmed?
'I was able to take the grief before, but now I will be completely shattered if something happens to this child too,'
She won't be able to leave the palace either, her father isn't here and if she escapes now…someone might take advantage of it to trap her.
Or he might even kill it with his own hands because of that girl's child because the empress's child will be the rightful heir to the throne.
The emperor indulged that girl so much that he immediately made her queen and declared her child as an heir.
There was no hesitation, no remorse, no consideration for her in his action.
She could see now that it had been for the best that she brought no children into this family.
No child would make his feelings change for her; it was naive of her to think so before and she found herself in an impossible situation.
Every part of her wanted to run away, but this empire still needed her and she hated her mind for still thinking about others.
Eleanora knew damn well that a girl with no background like Jena would burn this empire to the ground if she was given the responsibility.
Jena hadn't had any training, and she had yet to witness a single intelligent remark in her.
To Eleanora, Jena seemed like just all about a pretty face and barely knew about anything.
'But what about my health and the baby I am carrying?'
'Hadn't I suffered enough?'
Four years of cold treatment was way too long to wear her heart on her sleeve for him and the last straw was broken by the news of him impregnating another woman.
'I was just a fool…'
'A fool to believe that he wouldn't cross that boundary, embracing someone else who isn't me…'
A tear dropped down from her eyes as her heart clenched tightly in pain and Eleanora guessed that she needed to head back.
But she wanted to be like this for just a little while longer so that she could momentarily forget about everything and close her eyes as she inhaled the cold breeze, even if it was making her shiver in cold.
'Only if everything was this peaceful…'
'Me, him, and our children…how good would that be?'
'Exactly how me and my parents used to be…'
Just like that, another hour passed, and Eleanora heaved a deep sigh as it was finally time to return even if she didn't wish to.
But suddenly Eleanora's jewel-blue eyes narrowed as she sensed a person's presence not too far away from hers.
As the surroundings were dark, Eleanora couldn't see properly but the moonlight reflected on that person made her recognize him a little.
His light blonde hair swayed as he stood under the tree with a lonely expression with his arms crossed over his chest.
The shadow of the trees fell over him, making his emerald-green eyes glow in the darkness.
'Why is he here?'
Eleanora thought and she tried to approach him slowly, totally forgetting about the warning she got from the emperor to avoid him.
However, he turned his back and hid behind the trees before she could even come close and find him which surprised her.
It was like there had been no one there at all.
'Had I imagined the whole thing?'
Eleanora had just gone through something extremely traumatic, so she thought she was hallucinating and thus she needed some food before sleep.
Her mind had been pushed to the brink and she knew that she was close to snapping as a pregnant woman.
'Maybe I should go back and sleep now…'
'Things will be tougher for me from now on,'
Eleanora thought as she decided to turn on her hills to her abandoned mansion, as she didn't want another experience like what she had just seen.
She also knew that the news would have spread by now about that girl's pregnancy, and people would be looking at her with pity.
However, she could not risk them looking at her like she was insane.
After all, she is the empress.
Her position was now hanging by a thread, and she could not risk another reason for the nobles to turn against her.
Not until her father returns at least.
'Please come back soon and safe,'
'I need you beside me so badly this time,'
'Papa…'