In Love Again
'Why? Andrew, why? Is this all I am worth to you? A few days is enough to forget me and fall in love with someone else?'
Arabella cried for days and nights after reading Andrew's letter. She couldn't believe it was so easy for him to let go and move on.
She wanted to write him more letters to ask him why it was so easy for him.
In contrast, her heart was still aching and longing for him even after what he replied to her.
But Arabella's pride as a noble lady and as the eldest princess of Lobelius stopped her.
Her mother told her it was time for her to let go since she was also engaged to another man and would be wed soon.
"You are the most beautiful lady throughout the land.
You don't have to cry so much for a measly prince who had nothing but his looks.
Love is not everything in a marriage, Arabella.
With your beauty, you need a man who can keep you safe from your other suitors and the ladies who pursue them.
You are everyone's rival for their beloved men.
If you go to a measly man, you'll be ruined and stepped upon.
Emperor Ferdinand is just the right person for you.
No one would dare hurt you again, nor oppress you if you become his Empress."
Arabella sobbed even more at her mother's words.
For her, it sounded like her mother was just trying to make her believe that Emperor Ferdinand, someone they chose for her, was the best choice she could ever have.
She thought her mother could talk in such a manner because she didn't understand how Arabella felt when she was betrayed by Andrew after raising her hopes up.
She didn't know of the experience of a wizened elder who was merely stating a fact of the cruel world she had witnessed and experienced before.
After crying for a long time, Arabella finally replied to Andrew and thanked him for his honesty. But she couldn't wish for his happiness at all or say she had forgiven him.
Arabella focused on preparing for her upcoming wedding since she could not run away from it anyway. And a few months later, she was wed to Emperor Ferdinand.
The so-called evil incarnate of an Emperor married Arabella without a single smile on his lips.
Even so, Emperor Ferdinand looked so handsome on their wedding day. But no expression aside from boredom crossed his face.
It was clear in his eyes, the wedding ceremony and the celebration were a bother for him to attend.
It was customary so he just went along with it.
But if he was to be followed, she surmised that they wouldn't have a wedding ceremony at all.
Arabella figured he would have preferred going hunting or leading a war than being at their wedding. He was also clearly not entranced with her beauty as most men were.
The people around them looked charmed by her but Emperor Ferdinand was not in the slightest. Even during the dance with her, all he had was a poker face.
She thought Ferdinand would kill her on their first night for making him go through an entire duration of a boring wedding ceremony and celebration, but he didn't.
He probably didn't see the need since she had such a fragile-looking body compared to his strong and sturdy build.
Surprisingly, he was not cruel in bed either.
Her maids back in Lobelius had been worried. They thought she might end up having broken bones and a lot of bruises, but she didn't.
Ferdinand was gentle and did things slowly. His eyes changed as well.
Even though he wasn't interested in her in the morning, his eyes turned dark with desire in the evening.
And she experienced a totally unexpected side of the Emperor in her chambers.
His eyes were blazing and his kisses were hot and eager. But he touched her gently and softly like he didn't want to hurt her.
As such, even though it was painful at first, she experienced pleasure the following nights.
Arabella mistakenly thought, perhaps, the Emperor liked her since he never failed to visit her chambers every night.
His cold demeanor in the morning was different from the Ferdinand who lavished her whole body at night.
Fickle as she was, her young and innocent heart soon fell for the Emperor who seemed to cherish her and looked forward to the times they could be together.
However, she couldn't be more wrong.
Once she got pregnant, Ferdinand no longer visited her chambers. He only talked to her once a month to check on the condition of her pregnancy.
It greatly saddened her since she finally had feelings for the cold Emperor. And yet, all of a sudden he no longer visited her chambers.
The maids assured her it was because she was pregnant and the Emperor didn't want to accidentally harm their baby.
Arabella believed them since she was hoping it was true that Ferdinand cherished her. She took good care of her body and soon gave birth to a healthy boy who resembled Ferdinand.
And finally, her wish for the Emperor to visit her came true.
"You did well," he praised her and Arabella felt so happy.
But Ferdinand only glanced at their baby for a few seconds and left. He didn't even carry their baby for a bit or give him a gentle caress.
Since then, he never visited her chambers.
Arabella only met him on official occasions which needed her presence.
The maids said it was because as the Emperor, Ferdinand was always busy.
But Arabella soon realized they were just saying those so she wouldn't feel bad.
She overheard from the other maids in the palace, Ferdinand only went to her chambers until he was sure she was with child. He only married her because his ministers asked for an heir.
It was why Ferdinand completely ignored her once she birthed him a son.
All he needed was an heir so Arabella had already fulfilled her role. Meaning, he didn't have a reason to see her anymore.
Yet, she still wanted to see him more often.
To get his attention, Arabella went on spending sprees, to an unreasonable degree, expecting to be scolded by him. But none came. He totally didn't care about her.
Still, she thought he would at least care about his son, but he didn't either.
Arabella felt so bad for her son and focused all her love on him until she no longer cared that much about Ferdinand either.
All she wanted now was for her son to grow up strong and healthy.
Since she had nothing to do, she educated her son early on. Thus, when the Emperor sent tutors, their son was always praised for being outstanding.
But when her son was twelve years old and starting to show prowess in academics and knighthood, he was poisoned.
Arabella could only cry as her son died in pain in her arms. The doctors could not do anything about it either.
The one who did it was caught and executed but her son's life would never come back.
To her dismay and further anguish, Ferdinand never showed up even at their son's burial.
Arabella was all alone as she wallowed in sorrow and grief for her warm and charming son who had turned into a cold corpse and burned to ashes.
She merely wallowed in sorrow for a while.
But then, she heard a shocking revelation.
It was Ferdinand himself who had their son killed so no one could threaten his position.
Arabella grieved even more. But this time, she was filled with hatred and fury.
This was the beginning of everything.
It was when the villainess was born.
Crazed with anger and desire for justice and revenge for her son, Arabella then plotted her husband's demise and the fall of the Valeria Empire that gave him so much power.
To topple such a powerful foe, Arabella became a villainess and used whatever she had.
Money, power, connections. Even her mind and body.
She joined forces with Ferdinand's archenemy, King Icarus, and allied with her husband's haters.
As if the heavens willed it, through her hands, with ten years of careful planning and execution, the Valeria Empire finally fell to ruins and she succeeded to remove her husband from the throne he loved so much.
But Arabella was unsuspicious.
After her husband was dethroned, her supposed allies turned against her.
But just when she was about to be killed, her husband appeared out of nowhere and protected her with his life despite his already weakened body.
'What is he playing at? Why is he pretending to save me now when he didn't even care about our son?'
Arabella was dumbfounded. Why would he protect her? Someone he had been ignoring for almost twenty-two years.
It was like he was playing a joke on her after her years of hard work to drag him down. It made her even more furious.
"You bastard! Are you trying to act all nice now? I don't need your help. You heartless murderer!" she grimaced at her husband as memories of her dead son filled her mind.
"I'm sorry for everything. Even if the empire falls, you must survive, Arabella," he said as he pointed to an escape route.
"Thank you for becoming my wife," Ferdinand smiled at her as he breathed his last in her arms.
It was the first smile he had ever given her.
Arabella trembled as she laughed mirthlessly and tears streamed down her eyes uncontrollably.
She wanted to hate him even more for making her feel like she was the worst.
How could he apologize now after she had made Valeria fall?
Why did he apologize only now?
And he even dared to die trying to protect her?!
Why did he try to save her only now when she can no longer be saved?
She had long died.
There was no need to save this tainted body.
Arabella's tears rained down on his corpse as she tried to get one last look at the Ferdinand she once loved.
But all she saw was a blur as her tears flowed without her consent.
. . .
With her former allies approaching to kill her, Arabella smiled.
Valeria has fallen.
Her husband is dead.
And her goal was complete.
"Idiots. I won't die by your hands," she said and slit her throat before they reached her.
After all, she never planned to live. Once she had her revenge, her plan was to die and be with her beloved son.
'Goodbye, Ferdinand.
'See you soon, my dear son,' she closed her eyes and welcomed her death.
. . .
"Arabella!"
She thought she heard someone approach and scream her name repeatedly but her vision blurred and turned black.
". . ."
. . .
. .
.
Her hearing became fuzzy and unclear until she could no longer hear anything.
.
.
.
And all of a sudden, as if fate was playing with her, she woke up twenty-two years back.
Arabella was reborn right after her marriage to Ferdinand.
And she discovered she could suddenly read minds.
Arabella thought she must have been pitied by the gods and was given another chance to torment her husband.
But couldn't they have been a little kinder to her and had her reborn before she was engaged to the Emperor?
Now, she had to live all over again as the wife of her most hated person. She had to wonder if she was cursed instead.