MYS 39
I quickly went to class to take my bag, to the hall where the badminton practice was today. The ledge in the corner took a slow breath in the hope that the emotions that suddenly flared up in the chest would come out.
The clock on the wall in the middle of the hall was just after two, there were still thirty minutes before practice started. I went out to the side of the hall were lined with guava trees were blooming and sat under one of the trees closest to the hall door, so that later other children would come, I could know.
The sky that I saw was so clear without the slightest cloud, so I couldn't stand the scorching heat of the sun today. Sky and blue are one unit, so are people and emotions. This time, I just realized what Grandma said the other day that mortal creatures called humans are very emotionally unstable, especially when I was a teenager like me. Grandmother also added that she should increase her prayers and dhikr and take time to attend recitations, like the previous advice. And that seems hard to do when the feeling in my chest is like a bomb ready to explode, waiting for the right trigger.
"Anggi... I'm looking for Mr. Pujo. Turns out he's sleeping here." said Amad from behind a tree.
I felt that I only closed my eyes for one second, it turned out that I had been asleep for an hour.
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Once upon a time, I had a crush on someone. He was a senior, a boy from the ninth grade. Who until now did not know his name.
In the past, I liked him purely to the extent of liking him like a fan. Who doesn't know the name of his idol, like a stupid kid. But because of that love, I became excited to go to school, without missing a day, except for red dates and Sundays.
I saw him wearing his sports uniform, his son was cool, especially from my bench which was two tables from the door, stealing glances at the field had become mandatory food. And I have absolutely no regrets ever liking that guy.
When I was in ninth grade, I also had a crush on a classmate, his name was Toni. Even though his name is like a bad boy type. And his behavior is a bitch. During religious lessons, he is the one who is asked by the teacher to read holy verses. His voice is very melodious, 100% sure. And that's what made me like Toni, the voice of the qori.
While now...
I don't know what I'm feeling is love or hate. Or lazy to go to high school. There is no clear answer.
"Anggi...is it true that you told Ana we are dating?" squeaked Budi desperately, he running towards me.
"If what Ana catches means that... what can I do," I answered reluctantly. Why do you have to talk about it this morning? Isn't it enough to just mess with my head about it?
"Are you crazy Ngi... you must have tilted, right?" shouted Budi as if surprised. But it's obvious it's contrived.
"Leave what you want to think. It's stupid." I grumbled annoyed.
"It's not cool. I'm... just so you know, from the start you were just a flat wall to me." clearly Budi, which I don't need to hear. I know it's crazy that kids won't look at me as a decent girl.
"And you're just a nose sticking out between the stains on my bicycle tire. Just so you know." I replied, not accepting the parable of inanimate objects to my physical body.
"Yeee... that's you. I'm sorry, yesterday I missed a bicycle tire and Ms. Septi. I almost wanted to be made spicy if I didn't want to tell the truth." said Budi who managed to stop my steps in front of the class.
"That's just an insolent name, Budi. It can't be trusted. You can't keep a message like that." I'm furious. This is no longer bad news but super duper bad.
Mba Septi is Ana's senior on the basketball team and I don't want anything to happen because of me. I don't even know what I did wrong to Ms. Septi. The tangled threads that I've been trying to untangle since yesterday are now getting tangled up. Because of Buddha!
"I already said I'm sorry."
"You say that's enough?"
"Enough is enough."
"Here, I'll make you charred cakes. Pepe's tofu is still too good." I shouted after Budi who had run into the classroom.
Budi hid behind Amad, making me not move. Today I'm lazy to deal with Rohis' children, so I turn right, sit on the bench alone holding back annoyance.
Not long after, Ana entered the class with a straight face, a sign that I didn't want to be disturbed, I was also lazy to talk. It was the first day of my period, a very smooth stomach asked me to sit quietly all day. Other urgent matters can wait until tomorrow.
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When I'm menstruating, usually my appetite evaporates but today I clear my school canteen. Be forced to step foot that feels heavy towards the food source.
"By the way, to the canteen alone...is it normal to be with Ana and the three Caucasians?" said Andi sat lined up, not forgetting a bowl of chicken noodles with lots of sauce.
"No. I want to be alone."
"Can I accompany you?"
"Then your girl is angry, I can't bear it."
"That one... broke up a long time ago," Andi answered with a sad tone.
silence.
Only the sound of cutlery colliding with a bowl of a master stamp and the noise of a canteen. There's no point in talking about your ex or anything like that. I'm also lazy to continue chatting with Andi. Who can't be said to have a very good relationship, in my own eyes? What do you think about the land crocodile stamped at the intersection itself? Do you know?
Do not want to linger, as quickly as the mouth can chew as quickly as the contents of the bowl slowly run out. After paying, I rushed out of the cafeteria.
Just three steps away from the cashier, a foot blocking the road made me stumble forward. My left knee was scratched on the rough floor of the cafeteria.
"Oops, sorry." squeaked a girl's voice, the main suspect.
When I looked up to see his face, warm approaching the heat of the meatball sauce flushed down my back which must have caused sauce stains on my uniform. Surprisingly, I didn't feel any heat in my back. But it was replaced by hot coals in my chest.
"Miss?" My voice choked. The face was familiar and very foreign at the same time. A beautiful white face named Septi twelfth grade and senior Ana basketball team was right in front of me.
My fists clenched shut. Enduring the pain of stomach cramps due to being poured with clear soup as well as my passionate anger. However, my consciousness held back from retaliating. So, I took a deep breath before asking politely, if the person in front of me could be treated nicely. His eyes were hateful.
"What did I do wrong, ma'am?" still in normal voice mode, I speak.
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-TBC-