Chapter 7: Conficted
Do you know why beauty can be so deadly?
Because it's like a harmless wine laced with thallium that slowly spreads to the victim's body without even realizing it. It goes unnoticed and once it settles in, symptoms of its toxicity will be so hard to deal with.
***
When Nemus sees what the girl is doing, he immediately frowns. He didn't understand what she meant when she said it was illegal. Is she pertaining to the way he's locking her with his hind?
He was putting a lot of thought into the words she uttered but seeing that she was about to bang her head again to his scaly skin, Nemus put it in the back of his mind. He reached out his hand and blocked her head to prevent it from hitting his tail.
"Stop doing that."
The playful demeanor he previously had was long gone. There's now only an air of seriousness surrounding him which the girl mistakenly thought as hostility towards her after she hit his body.
Atasha unconsciously flinched when she saw his large, slender fingers drawn close to her face. She instinctively closed her eyes, afraid that he would strangle the life out of her after seeing the brewing storm in his face.
However, contrary to her assumptions, she didn't feel any pain. He didn't do anything bad to her. As a matter of fact, when she opened her eyes, she saw him carefully tucking her hair behind her ears before checking her forehead.
"My scales are hard. You will just hurt yourself," he said softly.
"..."
Atasha was left confused by his kind attitude. His faint mellow voice sounded so dreamy that no one would dare associate him with a huge, terrifying serpent.
So, he was not mad at her for hitting him...?
"It will be hard to forage herbs to treat your wound if you injure yourself in this kind of weather. So, please don't hurt yourself..." The man reminded her of the winter while gently rubbing her swollen forehead and reminding her to be careful.
Atasha was speechless.
No...
She didn't know how to react at that time.
Should he be eating her now instead of worrying about her?
So, why?
Why is a beast like him treating her so delicately?
Atasha bit her lips to keep the tears from falling.
How many years has it been since the last time someone became worried about her?
To think that someone like him would remind her of how grim and lonely she was. That even a small thread of affection from a beast would stir the depths of her being. Is this part of his trick?
To give her false hope and then wallow in her despair?
She's sick and tired of games! She suddenly thought of how badly she ended up before, after being toyed by the person she once loved. And she's not going to let another person play with her life!
"... stop." she softly whispered full of tears.
---
Nemus was focused on attending to her bruise when he heard her uttered a word. His hand stopped moving. At first, he thought she was asking him to stop what he was doing. But when he looked at her small stature, his sharp pupils constricted. There he saw the girl's shoulder shaking uncontrollably in an up-and-down manner while looking vulnerable before him.
'D-did I scare her again?'
His expression was filled with unbearable sadness and was unsure of what he did wrong to make her cry.
It rendered Nemus conflicted about what to do next and even began to question if he should just let her go.
Was it because of his appearance? Is it really that hard to look at and stay close to someone like him? He was only worried about her that's why he made a bold move and touched her, but he ended up making her tremble in fear by just his presence alone.
Is this really the fate of a feral beast?
Nemus lifted his chin and brushed his hair harshly with his fingers along with his frustrations. Not knowing what to do anymore! He smiled bitterly towards the ceiling as if someone was out there who could relate to what he felt at that moment.
When he heard the soft sobs of the girl, his jaw clenched tightly as his claws clutched into his palm. Digging deeper until the blood trickled in his fingers.
Nemus made a sudden realization.
'I guess rejection comes in many forms and it's only the pain that remains constant.'
***
A string of hope during your lowest moments can cause you your greatest despair.
Atasha was very keen on the concept of how expectations can ruin a person's life. How false hope can carry a person on cloud nine but without giving him wings and teaching him how to fly on his own. As quickly as it appeared, it would suddenly go and leave that person behind. Alone in the open air, vulnerable to all the suffering and hurt.
It is like a series of a rollercoaster ride. When it sees you at the peak of your happiness, it suddenly brings you down without any warning. Unprepared and frustrated, it will inevitably leave a traumatizing mark on your memories. Something that will haunt you even in your sleep.
Atasha already passed the most critical point of her traumas. She didn't want to create another misery for other people to gloat over!
"Stop treating me nicely and giving me a false hope!" she cried.
Her sudden outburst made Nemus taken aback. He wanted to calm her down but just when he was about to reach her, his hand stopped. Nemus remembered how much she trembled when he touched her. Blood drips on the ground as his hand is left suspended in mid-air, without any sign of pulling away.
Soon, the man slowly balled his fist and kept it away. He didn't want another round of the same scene to re-enact before him. He might be a beast but he's not that heartless to enjoy seeing the female continue to quiver because of her fear towards him.
Atasha was unaware of the beastman's thoughts. She was internally preparing for her end. Thinking it was better that way.
She didn't know what he wanted from her. Why does he act so cordial to her? Is it a part of some ritual or fetish before finally slaughtering his prey... like how a cat toys around a mouse before eating it? Atasha doesn't understand how the mind of a beast runs and she doesn't have the time to understand him either. But she had seen some resemblance that she couldn't accept as a human.
She learned that cold-blooded animals have slow metabolism during brumation. If the same aspect is true for this beast, maybe that's the reason why he's still keeping her alive.
How cruel!
The girl gritted her teeth and thought how absurd beasts are if that is indeed true. If he wants a form of entertainment before he can properly have his meal, then she doesn't want to take part in it!
"J-just kill me now..." her lips were trembling as she asked for her death. She knows that it was foolish of her but if she will end up dead anyway, she didn't want to be in more distress!
'Please make it a swift and quick death.' Atasha stupidly wished in her head.
Hearing how she desperately pleaded for him to kill her made Nemus' body turn cold. For the first time, he felt weak and wanted and low. She made him feel so bad with her unreasonable judgement!
W-was he that ruthless in her eyes?
Haa! How can she be so unfair?
He knows that he can be vicious but how can she ask for something so unreasonable?!
He never once thought of hurting her let alone killing her!
Did he show any aggressiveness during the time they were together? He had never! He tried so hard to treat her as gently as possible. He didn't want to hurt her...
How can she ask him to hurt the person he is trying to pursue?
Nemus thought that he was not the cruel one, it was her.
To think that she would rather choose her death than to be close to him.
Nemus smiled wryly.
'They're right. Despite their weak bodies, females can be more ruthless than any vicious beast.'
Nemus let out a long sigh and released the girl from his grasp. He has decided... to free her.
If she wants to go back to wherever clan she previously came from before coming here, then she can go. No one will force her to stay.
Nemus shut his eyes tightly and whispered, "I would rather let you go than see you wish for your death."
'Maybe Zethus was right. Feral beasts are bound to live a lonely life. No female will willingly accept us...'
Nemus looked at the girl who was momentarily confused by his actions. But it was evident how her worries washed away after being released. She was overjoyed. The great disparity in her reaction made Nemus bitter.
He stared at the relieved female, and he could see her full glory after he pulled away his tail that was previously covering her. Nemus swallowed hard and a sinister thought came to his mind.
'... Unless we become forceful.'