I don't belong here.
I don't belong anywhere but I definitely don't belong here. And I can't even comprehend...I can't imagine what it will be like when Viktor comes home.
Or...or if he doesn't.
No. No. No. No.
I have to leave. I have to leave this place right now.
I never belonged her in the first place.
I never should have come here.
I shouldn't be here.
The room feels suffocating.
I push the door open.
It slams against the wall behind me as I walk outside.
The wind is...bitter cold. Icy. Rain is starting to fall again.
Dimly, I recall it will be a thunderstorm soon, for some meaningless, stupid event coming up in the game.
It has nothing to do with me. It never has.
I walk off towards the forest without hesitation, walking into the trees along the small footpath that leads off of Academy grounds.
Thunder rolls somewhere in the distance. I pause by the tree, running my fingers lightly across the rough bark, frowning.
I'm standing in the rain, under the canopy of trees.
Alone.
Unnoticed.
Abandoned by everyone who pretended to care about me.
I'm an NPC in Eileen's story. Nothing more than a background character she can grind to unlock extras for Viktor's route.
I'm sick with myself.
For holding onto false hope for so long, for believing that...
I don't know when I start walking again, or when I start running, but...I have to go.
I have to.
I have to get away.
There's no reason to stay. No one who wants me here. I am an intruder in someone else's world, and I should leave.
I stumble in the rain, tripping on a root and landing on the dirt and leaves under my hands and knees.
I hear Viktor gently chiding me for falling and injuring myself - just a memory echoing in my ears.
"Viktor..." I whimper, but...no one answers.
No one ever will.
The Viktor I remember was just a lie.
A prize for Eileen and not for me. She took it. She took everything. She took my life, my love, my future. My hope. She just took it all...just like she's supposed to.
She's the protagonist. I'm a villainess.
I'm not...not allowed to have nice things.
I'm not allowed to...be happy...
I'm a villainess...so I must be unhappy forever...
I push myself back up to my feet, stumbling forward in the rain. The leaves of the forest whip wildly in the wind, rain pattering down on my already drenched form, making me shiver.
My hair is heavy, soaked through and clinging to me.
The beautiful gown I'd hoped to woo Viktor back with is soaked and torn and ruined now.
I'm tired.
So tired.
I don't know where I'm running, because the only place I want to run is back to Viktor.
My Viktor.
My precious, beautiful...
lie.
Everything between us was a lie.
He never loved me.
He doesn't love me.
And that knowledge...hurts more than I can handle.
I can't handle this.
I can't handle it.
I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't!
My vision is blurry with the tears and rain as I run through the back roads of the forest, desperate to get as far away from that cursed academy as possible.
I can't go back.
I won't go back.
There's no point, anyway.
No one would miss me, no one would notice. Viktor made that very clear tonight. Any shred of possibility that I have any ally left in that place was already shattered by him.
I gasp for breath as the cold water slips over my skin, trickling in rivers down my back as the rain continues to pour down harder, soaking into my hair and drenching my already wet clothes further.
I don't know what I'm looking for anymore.
Where I'm going.
I'm just...running. Away from it all.
Running.
But that won't make anything change, will it?
I'm...going to end up like this no matter where I go.
No one loves me.
No one ever...
As I cross an old cobble bridge, one of the loose rocks gives out beneath me. I shriek, arms wheeling as I try desperately to regain balance, but there's no chance. The ground is too slippery for my ill-equipped heels to even try.
I can feel gravity pulling me downward, down toward the violent waters below.
I claw frantically at the air as I plunge into the black waters of the river, unable to make sense of where is up or down as I get swept along with the current, tossed about as I'm buffeted by the strength of the tide.
I kick with all my strength, trying to swim, struggling to get my head above water as it threatens to drag me down further into its depths.
I break the surface briefly, taking in a sharp breath before the rushing flood pulls me under once more, swallowing me whole.
My hands grip desperately at the banks and passing logs as I rise up for a single brief moment before sinking again and again and again.
My beautiful, complicated gown restricts my breathing and tangles up my limbs like I'm tied by ropes. I can't even see anything in this pitch darkness as I thrash, fighting the urge to gulp in more water.
"HELP!" I cry out, "PLEASE! ANYONE!" I manage to cry out the words before a wave carries me back into the depths once more, dragging me down into the unknown.
I can't keep my head above water for more than moments at a time - my gown is too heavy, determined to drag me to the bottom of the river, and too complex to remove.
"Somebody please..." I murmur weakly, gasping for air as the icy cold water surrounds me, sapping away my strength with each passing moment.
I reach for another bridge, but my fingertips touch only air as the river sweeps me onward, throwing me around like a ragdoll and washing me farther and farther away.
I'm drowning.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do...I never learned how to swim!
"Viktor..." My thoughts go to him as the water fills my lungs. He's always been there for me before, hasn't he? He's never rejected someone who needed his help, right? Maybe...
"Vik-"
His voice hisses in my mind, rebuking me for daring to call his name. It sounds strange, almost distorted. But it's so familiar...
My hands splash on the surface of the water as my lungs burn and I struggle to gasp for air. "Vikto-"
His voice murmurs gently in my ear, softly telling me about the goddess who loved a man so much the stars themselves wept. The words bring with them a hazy memory from when we'd first danced together years ago.
The story Viktor told me that night on the balcony.
"-tor-" I gasp and choke on freezing cold water.
He softly calls my name. Whispering how much he loves me in my ear.
"Vik...tor...." I murmur weakly, reaching a trembling hand towards the voice I hear as my mind becomes muddled. I don't feel so cold now.
Everything just feels warm and soft around me, like floating through cotton candy clouds.
But there's no one there. As I'm swept along by the raging current, there's not one person standing on the banks.
Why...did I expect there to be...
Viktor...
My mouth opens in a futile attempt to call for him.
There's only silence as the blackness closes in around me.
For the second time...
No one ever even came to look for me.