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Chapter 32 - Inside the mind

"You are quite harsh aren't you? You could have tried to know him better"

Lyra turned towards the voice and saw the witch master smiling looking at her. He walked near her "Males in the beast world can't forget about their beloved and mate with other females. No matter how strong or which tribe they belong to, they can't move on like how it is defined in your world"

She furrowed her eyebrows "H-how do you?"

Sensing her nervousness he cleared her doubt "Olivia's friend was my mate, the one who came from another world like you"

Lyra widened her eyes "Your mate? Then are you?" she couldn't continue her words

He confirmed her doubt "Yes I'm a stray beast, But don't worry, I loved my mate too much for me to even think about hating other females, She also wouldn't like me acting like a fool going around killing other females, and I don't do anything that she hates"

Lyra smiled awkwardly, he was one of the most interesting characters that she met in this world. He was cheerful, energetic, sarcastic, and always poked his nose at other people's matters, well at least he did in her life and she wanted to scold him so badly but somehow felt that the advice he was giving was for her good.

"So tell me! Why did you reject that poor Lion cub" he said breaking her train of thoughts

Lyra came out of her reverie and answered "I don't have any romantic feelings towards him, and it would be unfair for both of us if I just accept him because he searched for me, I don't doubt his love for me but it will be painful for him if I don't reciprocate"

"You thought this through," he said suddenly

And added "But you have two mates. If you had feelings for your first mate, then how did you accept that wolf"

Lyra raised her chin "I'm not ashamed to say that I love both of them equally and want to cherish them. I indeed thought of having only one mate but couldn't refuse Lucas's sincerity"

Gregory smiled "Then why are you ashamed to accept that lion cub? Give him a chance to show his sincerity to you, You may end up liking him"

Lyra angrily said "Don't twist my own words on me! They are different, Lucas is someone whom I met when I came to this world"

"Then didn't you forget about your first meeting and mated with that snake?" he said provoking her.

Lyra opened and closed her mouth trying to say something but felt her throat drying. She was indeed selfish when she mated with Blake breaking the promise she made to Lucas and was guilty, but humans are not perfect, they make and break promises and feelings cannot be controlled, so she tried to treat both of them fairly every day.

She smiled mocking herself, she was indeed a selfish woman, she didn't want to let both of them go, she even claimed to love both, but was that even possible. Her head ached thinking about all these, sometimes she wished she was a female from this world to have more liberal ideas.

Lyra said in a sad voice "You are right, I'm indeed a hypocrite, I can't even control my feelings but said, Noah, to forget his feelings for me. I'm a bad person"

Gregory shook his head "You are not a bad person child, You would have been bad if you didn't consider your mate's feelings, they choose to stay with you tolerating each other and as I see both her happy, Three of the males Noah, Blake, Lucas have a scar in their heart because of some unfortunate past they experienced, It may be less tragic to one and more to other but it is still there. They are trying to find happiness with you and just because of your presence they are getting healed. I'm not convincing you to take Noah as your mate, but give him a chance to prove himself, don't shun him forever"

"And, this world is not the same as yours my child, we should adapt, accept and find our happiness in the place we live. You are a wonderful person for thinking about Noah's future, but letting him choose his future is the right thing to do. Whether it is good or bad it is his life to decide" he added and left

Lyra returned to the stone house feeling down, then saw Blake still planting the vegetables and hugged him from behind "I love you"

Blake sensed her presence when she was near the house but didn't turn around. He wanted to run and hug her but wanted her to do it first. Then as he guessed she hugged him and he smiled inwardly but sensed something wrong in her voice and turned around "What's wrong Lilly? Are you feeling unwell?"

She shook her head and hugged him "I'm a selfish person, aren't I?" she asked almost desperately as if asking him to refuse her statement.

His forehead creased "What are you talking about Lilly? Did someone say that to you?"

"I just realized it myself" she lied

Blake made her sit on his lap and kissed her forehead "What made you think like that? Can you say it to me?"

Lyra nodded her head "I promised Lucas to mate with him when I was in the wolf tribe but broke that promise and mated with you. Then when Lucas returned, I discarded your feelings and mated with him"

He sighed "Lilly, You did that because I asked you to, It was necessary for your safety"

Lyra shook her head "I didn't do it only because you asked me"

"What?" he questioned

She took a deep breath "I agree that I wouldn't accept him without your permission, but the main reason I accepted Lucas was that I had feelings for him. I didn't want to let both of you go, I liked you both but differently, Lucas's presence makes me feel at ease and I enjoy his company. Whereas you make me feel safe and is the reason I decided to live in this world. Even now, I'm able to share most of my inner feelings because I believe you"

Blake suddenly hugged her tightly and started kissing her neck where his mating mark was and looked at her eyes "Your decision in putting your trust in me is the biggest reward you ever gave me. I always knew that you liked Lucas even when we were in the cave in our first meeting"

She looked surprised "You knew?"

He nuzzled on the crook of her neck "I always knew that but didn't want to acknowledge it. I lied to you about the boulders blocking our way to the wolf tribe because I wanted you to stay with me. I even thought of killing Lucas secretly so that you could only be mine, but after spending more time with you I didn't mind his presence in your life. You loved me and that is all I need. So please don't think that you are the only selfish one, Everyone becomes selfish when we are in love and it is okay, I don't know how your world terms love as, but staying beside you is love for me and I don't regret it a bit"

Lyra looked at him in a daze. 'He lied to me because he didn't want me to go to Lucas?'.She always thought of Blake as someone who put others before himself but now she understood that he did that because it was for her, he knew that she liked Lucas and convinced her to take him in as safety leverage. She always felt guilty because of this in wanting to treat Blake better in the future.

"You didn't confront me about my feelings for Lucas because you wanted to become a hero by allowing him in yourself?" this made sense

Blake smirked at her "That is the biggest part of my plan, but it was also for your safety. Lilly I may seem very kind to you, but it is only for you. I can do anything to get you to love me more, of course, other than hurting you"

"You are very scheming, You know that?" Lyra said pinching his cheeks

"Am I? Well, I do things that even I don't understand for you, I lost my parents as soon as I was born, I struggled every day just to survive and became strong because I didn't want to experience being weak and vulnerable ever again. I lived for a century, alone and detached from the outer world, I even forgot the reason to live, but then I saw you, a beautiful Lilly in the water, your eyes shone so brightly that they brightened my entire life. I wanted to become vulnerable in front of you to receive your affection, I had something to always look forward to every day, You healed me"

Lyra's tears started to flow listening to him, She always knew he had some painful memory within him, but now that he shared, she could feel his desperation in seeking love. He had only her as a reason to live, how could she say what he schemed was wrong? We can never understand someone's pain without being in their shoes.

He wiped her tears "Don't cry my beautiful Lilly, I'm sorry if I made you feel guilty but I don't regret it" he chuckled "What have you done to me, Lilly? I love you more each passing minute, It's like I'm obsessed with you, and I don't hate it. How can you make me feel so weak, happy, sad, guilty at the same time?"

"Always remember this Lilly, keep yourself as your priority, because if something happens to you, then I swear to destroy the whole beast world. I may turn crazy without you"

Lyra hugged him tightly, she didn't understand his last statement, but it felt like a warning, not to her but others. His love was dark and obsessive but she could not push him away, because she too loved him. Their love for each other may be different but that doesn't mean that she could not bring him out of the dark side. She would love him and make him feel special and stay with him if it is something that could keep him sane.

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